Drawn Toward Unity
by Person4
Summary: As Yuna's pilgrimage falls apart around them, Lulu finds herself bonding with a most surprising person.
1. Chapter One

Final Fantasy X is owned by Square-Enix. None of the characters or settings belong to me.

Written for a pairing challenge. If any type of strange pairings make your eyes bug out, please try to keep an open mind and I hope you'll find yourself enjoying what I came up with for it.

• • •

Home was collapsing before their eyes, but Rikku managed to safely lead her fellow guardians, as well as the two summoners that had joined them, through the rubble to what looked to Lulu a bit like an oddly shaped boat hidden underground. As they ran over the walkway leading to it she peered over the banister, trying to catch sight of whatever underground river they must be planning to escape along, but all she could see was the ground far below. She sent a quick but fervent prayer toward Yevon, hoping that the Al Bhed had an actual plan for escaping, and weren't just assuming they'd be safe hiding in the one part of Home that didn't appear to be falling down or on fire until the Guado left.

Not that Yevon was likely to listen to someone who'd killed a Maester, she realized, stomach twisting in the same sickening way it did every time she remembered Seymour collapsing to the floor of Macalania Temple. He had deserved it, of course, she reassured herself for the hundredth time. The teachings were very clear about the punishment for patricide being death.

She just wished that they could have gotten him to a proper trial by Yevon so his blood wouldn't be on their hands.

They reached the door to the land-bound boat and hurried inside, past Rikku's father who closed the door behind them and shouted "Come on, this way!" before taking the lead.

Lulu glanced around them, and couldn't help but shudder a little. The smooth metal walls that surrounded them screamed 'machina', and, while she was usually much more comfortable in the presence of the Al Bhed and their contraptions then most Yevonites, even she couldn't overlook the fact that she seemed to be standing in the middle of a machine that could probably get her excommunicated for just looking at it with too much curiosity.

She looked around, trying to find someone to talk to and keep her mind off of their constantly slipping morality, but everyone seemed to be busy. Tidus and Rikku were jabbering at each other about some sort of excavation while Sir Auron listened in, Wakka was bothering Isaaru and his brothers about helping him atone for his involvement with the Al Bhed once they reached the nearest temple, and Kimahri... well, Yuna was the only one who could get him to speak on a regular basis, and he didn't look like he was planning on suddenly opening up to her. She didn't even bother to think about talking to Dona.

So she settled on quickening her pace to catch up to Cid and began to study him, trying to find some trace of Yuna in his features. She could see the resemblance in Rikku a little, in the shape of her nose and the curve of her chin, and even her brother had that same nose again, although other then that you wouldn't be able to tell they were related at all, but she just couldn't see her in Cid. She'd almost assume that Rikku had to be related to Yuna through her mother's side, if she didn't know for a fact that that was wrong.

Suddenly Cid seemed to tire of her watching him, and turned his head to growl, "What in tarnation are you starin' at, woman?"

She just kept staring, caught by surprise, mind rushing trying to think up an excuse. If Wakka hadn't been around she wouldn't have cared about telling the truth, but she wouldn't dare reveal Yuna's secret to him before Yuna herself was ready to do so. After a long moment she finally settled for a simple, "My apologies."

He started walking again, grumbling something in Al Bhed that she assumed must have been rude and about her, judging by his tone and the fact that the only word she could understand was "Yevonites." She was just going to let it be, since she had been the one being impolite, when to her shock Rikku bounced up to them yelling, "Rao Pops, dyga dryd pylg! Lulu's hud y hunsym Yevonite! Cra'c so vneaht, yht ed teth'd ajah pik ran du mad sa zueh dras ajah druikr cra ghaf dryd E's Al Bhed!"

Although they'd been relatively amicable toward each other during the short time they'd journeyed together, Lulu had never expected that Rikku would defend her to another Al Bhed but, although she couldn't understand the words, she could tell that that's what she was doing. Cid stared at her, seemingly startled, for a second, then looked up at Lulu. For an instant she thought he was going to apologize to her, then, with a muttered "Don't talk back, Rikku," he slammed his hand into a small panel that opened a door to a small hallway. "Bridge is right through here, folks," he said to the group before heading inside. Rikku rolled her eyes and shot Lulu a small smile before darting after him, everyone else following.


	2. Chapter Two

Lulu waited until Tidus went on his customary spastic dash around the new area to try and make friends with every stranger he came across, dragging Wakka and Rikku along with him, before approaching Cid again. "I _am_ sorry about my rudeness earlier," she said.

"About what now?" he asked distractedly, fiddling with something in the sphere oscillo-finder.

She didn't know whether he'd actually forgotten so quickly (although she knew Rikku must have gotten her bubble-headed personality from _somewhere_, so it wouldn't surprise her too much if he had), or if he was just distracted and not paying attention to what she was saying. She waited until he straightened up then tried again, "Yuna has been hoping she'd someday be able to meet you for as long as I've known her, and my curiosity got the better of my manners."

Cid whirled around to face her, any trace of inattentiveness suddenly falling from his expression, leaving what seemed to be barely contained excitement. "You say Little Yuna knows about me? An' wants ta get to _know_ me?"

"Is that unexpected?" Lulu replied, startled by his apparent shock. "It's not as if she was orphaned as an infant, before she'd have any knowledge of her family. She was old enough to keep her memories of her parents and however much she was taught about her heritage. If _I_ knew I had family somewhere, I would certainly pray for a chance to meet them."

"Tysh," he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. Although the rest of his expression didn't change, the corners of his eyes crinkled as though he were smiling when he started speaking to her again. "We were tryin' to find her too, after the Calm came. Figured they had her holed up in the church at Bevelle; it was years before the priests would admit that she'd disappeared the day her daddy died. Sanctimonious bastards, keepin' a little girl away from her family."

Lulu shifted uncomfortably at his obvious hatred toward The Church of Yevon, but she had to admit to herself that she could understand his feelings. Of course, what else could he have expected? It should have come as no surprise that the Church would never have allowed an Al Bhed to take the daughter of the High Summoner, however closely related to her he was.

Still, it would do her no good to point this out to him, and would almost certainly drop her straight back down to the same level as any other Yevonite in his eyes before she'd even finished speaking the words, so she settled for saying, "She will certainly be glad to hear that when we find her." Then, after a pause, she hesitantly added, "If it is any consolation, I can assure you that her life on Besaid was a happy one. Whatever you may suspect, The Church never meddled in her life to try and prevent her from having a normal childhood, although I will admit that that perhaps has more to do with their fear of Kimahri then their lack of desire to keep her cloistered somewhere safe in the temple for her whole life."

"Right," he said, eyes narrowing. "Until they made her happily go off to martyr herself."

Lulu laughed tiredly and replied, "If you believe that, than you don't know as much about the priesthood as you think. They fought harder than anyone to make her change her mind. They'd much rather have her around as a living political tool than a dead summoner, whether she defeats Sin or not. If you wish to blame anyone for her... obsession with becoming High Summoner, look to her father. She's only trying to follow in his footsteps, to bring joy to the people of Spira."

Cid looked unconvinced, but before he could make any reply Auron strode into the room heading straight for them. He frowned thoughtfully before digging a small card out of his pocket and flicked it to Lulu. "Here," he said, voice pitched low so that no one else in the room would be able to hear him. "That'll unlock the residential area of the ship for ya, so we can talk more later. You _ain't_ allowed to let any of your comrades back there though, understand?"

She nodded silently, making the card vanish into one of her voluminous sleeves, and stepped away from him as Auron reached them. The older guardian began to speak, just as Tidus and the others burst back into the cabin. "After rescuing Yuna, then what?" he asked, glowering down at a completely unimpressed Cid. "You want to keep her safe, correct? Would you seek to stop her pilgrimage?" 

Lulu couldn't help but be a little amused as Cid began insisting that he would do just that, wondering how long he'd be able to hold onto that attitude once he'd actually met Yuna. She would, of course, be overjoyed if he actually managed to convince her to quit, but she knew full well that the only way that that would ever happen was if another Summoner brought the Calm first. Even then it would only be a momentary break; when Sin reappeared Yuna would head straight back to where she'd left off and finish walking the long road to Zanarkand. Lulu did not believe that there was anything in the world that could deter her.


	3. Chapter Three

The sphere oscillo-finder had finally picked up Yuna's location and they were on their way to Bevelle. Since the trip would take several hours their group had scattered, Tidus, Auron, and Rikku heading off to take care of the Guado and fiends that had snuck on board and everyone else left to their own devices. After wandering aimlessly for a while, killing the occasional enemy she stumbled across, Lulu soon found herself walking up the stairs at the aft of the ship, toward the only sealed door she'd seen. She hesitated for a moment, knowing that if she went through that door and anyone found out about it she could easily be excommunicated for consorting with the Al Bhed when it wasn't necessary for the sake of the pilgrimage. But then, she thought wryly as she pulled the card out of her sleeve, it wasn't as though she'd done many things recently that wouldn't get her in trouble with the church in one way or another, so why stop there?

If she could figure out how to get in, that was. The small card wasn't like any key she'd ever seen before, it was just a smooth piece of metal with a strange pattern across its top and no notches or protrusions. The door itself had no keyhole in the normal spot, and there wasn't a panel next to it like the one Cid had used to open the bridge, so she had no idea what she was supposed to do. 

As she frowned at the door the card was suddenly snatched out of her hand. She whirled around, already preparing to cast a low-level fire spell and singe whoever was trying to steal from her. The magic drained away uncast, however, at the sight of the small Al Bhed girl grinning up at her. "Rana myto!" she said before quickly sliding the card through a small slit hidden in the side of the door frame, causing the door to slide smoothly open.

"Nilla!" an upset sounding voice said from behind them. An Al Bhed woman dashed up to the from where she'd been standing near the elevator leading to the deck. "Fryd yna oui tuehk? Dryd'c y _Yevonite_!" 

Not wanting to get the child in trouble, Lulu smiled apologetically at the woman, "I'm sorry, she was just helping me." The woman clearly didn't understand her so she reached back into her memory, trying to remember the scraps of Al Bhed Ginnem had had them both learn just in case they were ever in trouble with only an Al Bhed around to ask for help. "Cunno," she said slowly. "Where's... frana Cid?

"_Cid_?" The woman asked, clearly startled. She snatched the card back out of the hole and examined it closely, then stared at Lulu after she found whatever it was she was looking for. "Oui yna Cid'c fusyh?" 

Lulu had no idea what that was supposed to mean, and just repeated again, "Frana? Frana Cid?" She just hoped that she was correctly remembering the word for 'where' and wasn't accidentally insulting their leader, or babbling nonsense and making them think she was mocking them.

Finally, after another long moment of staring, the woman handed back the card, tapped the left hand wall of the hallway revealed behind the door, then held up six fingers. When Lulu looked puzzled, she rolled her eyes and tried again. She pressed her hand against the wall, then pointed to the first door on that side and held up one finger, then the next door down before holding up two. The hall curved so that they couldn't see any more doors, but when the woman held up her six fingers again Lulu understood what she was trying to say.

"The sixth door on the left," she muttered to herself. She bowed to the woman and Nilla, holding herself back from moving her arms to form the prayer. "Dryhg," she said, feeling a bit stupid because she knew that she was messing up somewhere in her thanks, but couldn't remember where she was wrong, then turned to walk away.

She realized that she hadn't actually needed to ask for help when she found the sixth door down was wide open, Cid sitting right inside studying some papers. "I'm sorry," she said. "Are you busy now?"

"Door wouldn't be open if I was," he replied, scooting over to make room for her next to him on the couch. She paused briefly before taking the offered spot. Cid looked strangely satisfied, as though she'd just passed a test by getting so close instead of taking one of the other chairs in the room, then continued, "I was just lookin' over the reports the engineers made about the weapons systems on this baby. If what I've heard about the guardian of Bevelle is right, we're gonna need them." Lulu bit down hard on her lower lip and nodded, knowing that he was right although the thought didn't make her happy. He grinned in return. "Ain't ya gonna say something about how all destructive machina are evil, and we're all gonna get gobbled up by Sin for using it or some such nonsense?"

Lulu tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at him, not knowing whether he meant his words as harmless teasing or spiteful taunts, although if the later was the case she was somehow sure that his ire was toward the church in general and not she herself. "I would rather use your weapons and call Sin down upon us than leave Yuna in Seymour's hands," she said finally.

He laughed and slapped the papers down on the side table next to the sofa. "Good ta hear it. So," he said, leaning back and propping his feet up on a nearby chair, "what's your problem with the bastard? I figure you ain't against the two of them gettin' hitched because he's a Maester, or because of what happened to Home."

"Actually, that _would_ be enough of a reason. Do you think I'd be sitting here now if I _approved_ of what they did? The man is insane; he murdered his father, your people, and Yev-- and who knows how many other people in his quest for power, and now he's become an unsent as well. Considering what he was like in life, I can't imagine it will be long before he becomes a fiend, and we can _not_ let Yuna be around him when that happens."

Cid's eyes sharpened, suddenly becoming intense as he looked at her. "Unsent, eh? And how exactly do _you_ know this, if the bigwigs in Bevelle are apparently in the dark?"

"We killed him," she said simply, doing her best to keep her voice steady and not show him how much Seymour's death had affected her. "Tidus, Yuna, and I. It was... necessary. He killed his own father, he wished to use Yuna, he.. he didn't even show a _hint_ of remorse when we confronted him about what he'd done. He--"

Cid clamped one of his large, calloused, hands onto her shoulder, startling her into silence, and said, "Hey. You don't need to justify yourself to me, ya know. The man's a murderer, y'all punished him, that's all I need to hear. I ain't a Yevonite."

"Ah, yes," she said with a nod, feeling unreasonably grateful for how untroubled he was by their crime. "I just hope that Yuna is actually trying to send him, and hasn't decided that giving the followers of Yevon something to celebrate is more important than punishing Seymour." 

Cid raised an eyebrow, looking incredulous, "That's not likely, is it?"

"I can't say for sure. Yuna's thoughts tend to be very complicated; she judges her actions based on how they will effect... everyone in Spira other than herself, really. If she thinks that she can keep Seymour from harming anyone else when they're married, that the good she could have him do and the happiness they could bring is greater then the crimes he's committed, than she would almost certainly go through with the marriage. I'm sure she'd send him eventually, but not until afterwards." Lulu sighed and rubbed her forehead, feeling pressure building into a headache behind it. Then she noticed how Cid was almost imperceptibly leaning forward, and the eager look in his eyes at hearing about Yuna and decided that she might as well continue. "The thing you need to understand about Yuna is that the defining event of her life was the day her father died. She saw that _everyone_ was overjoyed by what happened, that no one seemed saddened that Braska's life was the cost of the Calm, and got the idea that someone's individual life is worth _nothing_ compared to the happiness of the many. Or... no, that's not exactly right. It's the lives of those with a talent for summoning, like herself, that are worthless. Anyone else's life is sacrosanct, unless they choose to become guardians. Then," Lulu laughed bitterly to herself, "well, their lives are still worth more then her own, but she doesn't allow herself to comment when we go into danger."

"That's... Hell, that's sick," Cid said, getting up to stomp across the room and pour himself a drink. After a moments thought he grabbed another glass and the bottle then set back down, handing the empty one to Lulu. She hesitated before raising the liquor he poured into it to her lips; Yevon forbid women from drinking alcohol aside from watered down wine on days of celebration, a rule the god had passed down to ensure no child would be born weakened due to an alcoholic mother. She realized, however, that by that point drinking would be the least of her sins and took a cautious sip, noticing as she did that Cid once again had that satisfied look on his face. When all it made her feel was a slight heat in her mouth she took a larger swig, then tried to ignore Cid's laughter when the burning in her throat made her cough. He pretended not to see the annoyed look she shot him, and continued speaking, "What sort've 'happy' life lets a little girl grow up thinkin' like that?"

"Don't you think we'd have tried to stop her from thinking that way if we'd known?" Lulu snapped back. "It's not as though that's a subject that comes up in conversation often. It wasn't until she became an apprentice summoner that we discovered how deeply ingrained those beliefs were. There are mental tests that one must take to become a summoner, that show whether or not they're capable of actually going through with the Final Summoning. The church feels that it would be a waste of time and resources to train a summoner unwilling to sacrifice themselves, you see."

"And li'l Yuna passed the tests with flyin' colors, right?"

"More than that, they showed that she was willing to die over much lesser causes than just the defeat of Sin. After that, well, Wakka, his brother Chappu, and I tried to convince her not to martyr herself at all, while the Church told her not to let herself die for anything less than the Final Summoning. It is, after all, just as much of a waste of time for them to train a Summoner who would let herself be killed the first time she came across someone in danger."

"And how well did that work?" Cid asked, taking another swig of his drink.

"Not as well as we would hope. Obviously, we were unable to convince her not to become a Summoner, but she did agree to protect her own life until Zanarkand unless she was doing something that she felt was worth the Calm being put off until someone else could defeat Sin." She closed her eyes, thinking hard for a moment, then smiled sadly at Cid, "I believe that when we fought Seymour in Macalania she was willing to die in that battle. That, more than anything, gives me hope that it is a sending she's trying to accomplish now. However, that also means that we _need_ to get there before she starts, because if she's decided to place the sending over her life she could easily just go for it as soon as she gets close to him, no matter how much danger it puts her in." 

"Than what--"

"Cid!" a voice interrupted from the door. They looked up and saw the woman who Lulu had spoken to earlier standing there with a panicked look on her face. "Lusa xielg! Drana'c y fiend eh dra cgo!"

"Fryd? Rammvena!" Cid exclaimed, leaping to his feet and starting for the door. Lulu followed, not understanding the words, but able to tell that something was wrong. She relaxed slightly when Cid smiled wryly at her and said, "Startin' to look like we're gonna be interrupted every time we try an' have a conversation, don't it?" 

"Hm, perhaps," she replied, smiling back. The smile faded when she glanced up toward the Al Bhed woman in front of them, who had already walked through the door separating the residential area from the rest of the ship and was gesturing wildly towards the windows near her. "What's going on?"

"Apparently there's a fiend flyin' around outside. Hopefully it's just some Wasp that's flown too high, but Sina isn't usually the type to overreact over somethin' like that."

Lulu nodded, stepped through the doorway, glanced out the window, and blanched. "That is... definitely not a Wasp," she said, voice weak. "I believe that it's Evrae. I thought that she was a myth."

"Vilg," he spat, then dashed toward the stairs leading toward the bridge. "I was hoping the stories I'd heard were wrong. I gotta get to the front; see if I can get the weapons system to work. You see if you can find some of your friends, or one of those summoners, or _someone_, because if that thing attacks before we can get the missles to work someone's gotta be up there to fend it off. Okay?"

"Alright. We'll be ready when you need us."

"Good." And with that, Cid was gone.

Lulu glanced around at the Al Bhed in the hallway with her. Most of them were looking back at her with curious expressions, obviously wondering what she'd been doing with their leader, but it wasn't as though she knew the Al Bhed for 'We were just talking' to clear up any misunderstandings. After a long moment she started towards the door, planning of finding Tidus like Cid had asked, but before she'd taken more than a few steps he, Auron, and Rikku burst in through the door and ran up the stairs to the window without even acknowledging that she was there.

"Huh, now there's a rare sight," Auron said, watching the dragon flying outside with his normal impassive expression. She wanted to ask him why he hadn't mentioned it before if he knew that it was real, but kept her mouth closed when she realized that she herself was guilty of almost the same thing.

"Whoa, that's huge!" Tidus exclaimed, slack-jawed.

Rikku pressed her hands against the window, turning her head back and forth to try and take in as much of the huge dragon as she could. "What is that?" she asked.

"The guardian wyrm, Evrae," Lulu replied, finally making her presence known. Tidus gave her his full attention, obviously expecting her to give him a full lecture about the unfamiliar creature, as she'd done several times before on their journey when he hadn't known something. She was a tiny bit sorry that she had to disappoint him with how little information she had. "The great sacred beast--protector of Bevelle."

"The red carpet has teeth." Auron said, sounding almost amused.

Tidus seemed to have been thinking about what Lulu had said, because suddenly his expression became excited and he exclaimed, "Wait, that means we're close to Bevelle!"

She was about to answer when they were interrupted by Cid's voice over the intercom letting them know that they had to get on deck to fight. She felt a flash of annoyance that he apparently hadn't thought she'd have been able to find them on her own, but had to admit that so little time had passed that she still wouldn't have reached them if they were on the other side of the ship. She turned her attention back to Tidus, who seemed overly excited about the idea of fighting such a powerful fiend, just in time to hear him say he'd be taking her and Auron to the fight. "Rikku," he said, turning to the perky young girl, "you stay here and tell all these people to get somewhere safe, _away_ from the windows. Then go wait by the elevator in case we need you, alright? I'm sure Kimahri and Wakka'll be here in a minute to keep you company."

Rikku grumbled under her breathe for a moment about just how good she thought their 'company' would be, then nodded, earning her a grin from Tidus. As Lulu and the others took off for the deck, she just hoped that the guardian beast wasn't as dangerous as she'd always heard.


	4. Chapter Four

"You gonna be okay?" Cid asked, pulling her off to the side while the others prepared to launch themselves at Bevelle.

"I believe so," she replied, sipping an ether to regain the magical strength she lost when battling Evrae. Then, after a moment's thought, she truthfully added, "At least, I hope so. I think that we, perhaps, could have put more thought into who should have fought Evrae. As Tidus, Auron, and I are the most capable of taking down a human with one attack, we're probably going to be doing most of the fighting in Bevelle as well, and we've already used up a great deal of our energy."

Cid looked troubled at that, obviously studying some of the worse cuts she'd gotten during the battle. "Ya shouldn't press yourself if you're injured," he said. "Hell, Rikku can practically throw together a bomb that'll clear the path for you out of a handful of screws and some mud, ya don't need to go all out."

"No need to worry about me. I know my own limits, and I'm not too proud to retreat if I hit them. _Tidus_, on the other hand..." She glanced toward the younger man and smiled slightly. "But, thank you for your concern."

He didn't seem convinced by her attempt at reassurance, but didn't press the issue. Instead he thumped his fist against a protrusion on the wall nearby, causing it to fall open and reveal a cache of medical supplies. He grabbed a few things then sat down on the floor beside her. "Here, let me see that arm," he said gruffly, then pulled it toward him and began treating the worst of her wounds without waiting for a reply.

"This really isn't necessary," she said, although she made no move to yank her arm away. "If any of my injuries were _really_ bad enough to need treatment, I would have asked Rikku for aid. Has she told you that she's become quite adept at healing magic during the time we've been travelling together?"

"Is that so? Nah, she hadn't said anything about that. 'Course, we ain't had much time to talk; seems she's had better things to do than stop for a chat with her ol' dad." He finished bandaging the cut on her wrist, than moved on to one on the opposite shoulder, carefully unbuckling the sleeve from the collar and doing his best to push the fur out of the way without getting it any bloodier than it already was. Lulu was a little surprised that he'd figured out how to do that on his own; most people didn't realize that her dress was designed to become sleeveless in hot weather. Once he could get at the gash easily, Cid continued speaking, "How'd she get into that? Her brother was always the one with the interest in magic, Rikku's more like me: she just beats the snot out of anything that gets in her way."

Lulu laughed, and nodded. "That is true. However, she wanted to get to know Yuna, and Yuna's a very powerful white mage. Magic lessons gave them an excuse to spend time together, and it turns out that she has a knack for it."

"Huh," Cid muttered in a pleased tone. "Who'da thunk it? She must've gotten it from her ma's side."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Lulu said, meeting his eyes as he sat up to get at a cut on her temple. At the sight of his spiralled pupils she almost started, she'd somehow forgotten for a moment that he was an Al Bhed, but she caught herself before she could offend him and scrambled for her dropped thoughts. "If Yuna and Rikku are _both_ talented at white magic, then it stands to reason that it comes from the shared relative. Especially since Lord Braska's skills ran more toward the black end of the spectrum, if I remember correctly." 

"So you're sayin' I should go get a magic lesson or two instead of relying on these old first aid kits, eh?" he said, smirking slightly as he carefully taped down the gauze on her head. "There, that's the worst of them taken care of. Now, about Rikku..." He trailed off, turning to look at the young girl who was off saying something to Kimahri, giggling and gesticulating wildly while the Ronso looked down at her, seemingly completely unamused.

"Mmm?" Lulu murmured, drawing his attention back to her. She suspected that she knew where this was going, but waited to hear it from him.

"She's a good girl, but she can get a little... flighty at times, ya know?" He paused, waiting for her nod, then continued. "Well, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Would you mind keepin' an eye on her? I mean, I don't expect ya to babysit her all the time or anything, but just make sure she doesn't get herself killed doing somethin' that two seconds thought shoulda told her was a bad idea." 

"I would be glad to," she said as she pushed herself to her feet, briefly using his shoulder for balance. "You don't need to worry; she's one of us, and we look out for one another. But I'll make sure to keep an especially close eye on her." 

He accepted the hand she offered as he stood himself, saying, "That's all I'm askin'." He glanced at the others again, at Tidus and Auron who were already finding their grips on the thick wires that would be their bridge to Bevelle. "Looks like it's about time for you to get goin'."

"Yes. Yuna is waiting." She looked down at her hands, frowning thoughtfully, and smoothed the edge of one of her bandages with the tips of her fingers. "My time here, it was... enjoyable. If, when all this is over, we could have a chance to speak again, I would look forward to that."

"Speakin' of that," he said, digging around in his pockets for a minute before pulling out a small, thin, cylinder and handing it to her. "Here, I wanted to give you this."

"Ah, thank you," she said, examining it. It had small holes punched into one side, a button on the other, and nothing else that might give her some idea on it's use. "...What is it?"

"Oh yeah, forgot that you wouldn't have used one of these before. Look," he pulled another of the items out of his pocket. "It's a type of two-way radio. A machina that'll let you talk to someone on the other end. See, ya push the button on the back and talk into the front an' the person on the other end hears what you're sayin'." The last few words were spoken into his own device, and Lulu jumped when the one in her hand crackled and vibrated and repeated what he said. "If y'all ever need any help, give me a holler and I'll see if there's anything I can do to help."

She tucked the radio in with her other things and smiled at him, trying to ignore the fact that he had that pleased look on his face once more. She only hoped that if they spent much more time together, he'd stop acting as though she'd passed a test every time she did something the church wouldn't approve of. "Thank you. Hopefully we'll never need to use it, but I'll be glad to know that it's there." She looked at the others one last time, noticing that Wakka was on his way over to get her, and said, "It looks like I really _do_ need to go now. I will see you again?"

"I'm sure that you will." He turned, and called out to Rikku, "Rao, Rikku, tuh'd kad ouincamv gemmat uid drana!"

Knowing a dismissal when she heard one Lulu walked away, ignoring the confused look on Rikku's face as her eyes darted back and forth between Lulu and her father.


	5. Chapter Five

"So, what's up with you and my pop?" Rikku asked Lulu from the other side of their prison cell.

Lulu glanced over at her from where she was trying to see if her magic could make a fire hot enough to melt the bars, annoyed at the distraction. "Nothing is 'up.' Why would you even need to ask?"

"Come on, don't give me that!" Rikku sidled up to her, and nudged her lightly in the ribs. "You too were looking _awfully_ cozy back on the airship. I saw the way he was fussing over your wounds, when he didn't even yell at me about the scratch on my leg!" 

"Rikku, you've gotten worse injuries slipping on the ice when we were on the way to Macalania Temple. Somehow, I expect that he's used to you having scratches like that." Lulu dismissed her fire with a frown, realizing the effort was useless, and slid down to sit on the floor. "We only knew each other for half a day, how could you think that during that time anything happened worth discussing?"

"Well, _first_ of all it doesn't matter if he's used to it or not, he _always_ yells at me when I'm hurt somewhere he can see it. It's, like, his really stupid way of showing that he cares. And _secondly_, you disappeared for ages then later I found out that you were hanging out with him in his room! One of the ladies I talked to while I was waiting around during the fight against Evrae even called you 'Cid'c Fusyh'!"

Lulu frowned. "That Sina woman? What does that even mean?" 

Rikku rolled her eyes. "She's calling you my dad's woman, Lulu."

"Cid's... . _No._ Rikku, do you really think I'm the sort of woman who'd do anything inappropriate with a man I'd just met?"

Rikku flopped down on the floor of their cage and raised her eyebrows at Lulu, flashing her a teasing grin. "If I say yes, will you tell me the truth to stop me from getting crazy ideas?"

Lulu couldn't help but laugh, and bowed her head slightly in defeat. "He just wanted me to tell him about Yuna, since I've known her since we were young. Nothing untoward."

Rikku grinned even wider. "Yeah, I figured it'd be something like that. Like I said to Sina, what would a woman like you want with an old moron like my pop? I mean, I love my mom, syo dra cyhtc cuudr ran cuim, but she had really bad taste in men."

"Rikku, you shouldn't say such things about your family. Your father cares about you."

"I know that," Rikku said, stretching out to pat Lulu's knee with a strangely sympathetic look on her face. "Course I know that. If I didn't, I wouldn't say things like that. I rag on him, he bugs me; it's a family thing, Lu. Didn't you ever act like that with _your_ family?"

Lulu remembered the jealousy she and Wakka had felt toward Tidus on the boat ride to Luca, for having had his family long enough to remember his father well enough to hate him, as it welled up inside of her once more. A family thing; Rikku said it so easily, as if it went without saying that she would be able to call back more than the smallest scraps of memories about her mother and father. Such a luxury the Al Bhed had, if that were true.

But she pushed that feeling back, reminding herself that even if that were true the Al Bhed certainly had enough troubles no Yevonite ever had to deal with to even things out, and instead turned her thoughts to Chappu, Yuna, and Wakka. To the closest thing to a family that she had really had for most of her life. "I understand," she said at last. "I--"

She was cut off by the sound of people approaching. They both turned warily toward the door of the cage they were in, Lulu quietly moving to place herself between it and Rikku. In a moment their suspicions about what was coming were confirmed by a group of guards stopping in front of them. 

"Judgement has been passed on the traitor guardians," the leader of the group said emotionlessly. "You will come with me now to the Via Purifico."

Lulu bowed her head and curled her hands into the prayer, making herself look to all appearances like a penitent Yevonite accepting her punishment as the lock turned in the key. If the guards had only had the imagination to realize that someone granted the position of Guardian could, in the right circumstances, be anything but, they may have lived a longer life.

"Rikku, _run_," Lulu ordered as the shards of ice from the spell she'd cast drove themselves into the heads of the guards. From so close there hadn't even been a chance of her missing the portion of their faces their helmets didn't cover. 

"Lulu, what are you _doing?_" Rikku asked, the shock evident in her voice not bad enough to keep her from scrambling out of the cage.

"As I said before, Rikku, your father cares for you. That's why he asked me to do this for you. I may not be able to do my duty as Yuna's guardian now, but this, at least, I _can_ do." She sent a blast of fire toward another guard yelling down the hall, the distance great enough that she couldn't kill him outright, but sent him screaming to the floor in flames. "Now move. As long as I live, I'll keep them so distracted that they won't even think to look for you."

She pushed the younger girl in the direction free of guards, and turned the other way once Rikku began to run. If she was going to die that night she would do it guarding, the way it was meant to be, not by going along with the orders of corrupt Maesters. The church may spread the word that she was the greatest traitor since Omega because of this, but she believed that in the next world Yevon would look favorably upon her for now bowing before such perversion of his sacred teachings. Perhaps he would even forgive her for doing so to protect an Al Bhed. 

She took out another group with her fire, not realizing that she should have checked the room on the other side of the cages first until she heard a sudden loud bang and, before she even really registered the noise, felt a sudden intense pain in her arm. She held back her scream and silently berated herself for letting the gunman get close enough to fire without noticing him as she sent electricity crackling through him. She immediately noticed the difference in the strength in her spells caused by not being able to move her injured arm, but pushed the thought out of her mind. As long as she could use any magic at all, Rikku would be--

Rikku would be coming back, pressing her hands softly against Lulu's shoulder and sending a familiar-feeling wash of white magic through her injured arm, pushing the bullet out from where it embedded itself and healing the wound enough to make the pain bearable when she flexed the muscle. 

"Rikku, why did you come back?" Lulu asked, suddenly just feeling drained. There was no chance that Rikku would get away unspotted again, now that they'd lost the advantage of surprise, and, if she couldn't protect the girl, Lulu found herself losing the will to fight.

"Yunie's still out there," Rikku replied, warily glancing at the guards who were slowly starting to approach them, their weapons at the ready. They'd even brought up a few of their machina now, the rusted old monstrosities that were much too big for Rikku to make fall to pieces by stealing a few important screws. "If they're taking us all someplace together, than I shouldn't be the one you die for, Lulu."

Lulu leaned against the wall waited for the guards to approach, not making any movement that would give them cause to shoot. Yes, Rikku was right. Although she didn't really believe that a summoner would be given the same punishment as her guardians, if there was a chance that they would end up in the same place, she should go there. Even if there was nothing she could do once she got there, for Yuna's sake she would live.


	6. Chapter Six

Lulu found herself a quiet corner of the Via Purifico and set to work tearing out part of the inner lining of her dress to use as a bandage for her arm. Although it was in much better shape than it would have been if Rikku hadn't been there, there hadn't been time to do more than a partial healing; not even enough to fully stop the bleeding. And the guards who'd lead her to the pit and shoved her in had been anything but gentle as they dragged her through the halls of the great temple.

She couldn't blame them for that after what she'd done, of course. In fact, she was a little surprised that they hadn't killed her straight out. But, then, a slow death from starvation in their maze would be much worse than if they'd merely turned their guns on her. Perhaps that was what they'd been thinking. 

She examined the length of cloth she'd managed to tear free appraisingly. It was dirty; everything on her was from the track through the Sanubia desert and from the sweat and blood shed in the fighting after. Everything save...

She lightly touched the bandage wrapped around the wrist of the same arm the bullet injury was in, frowning thoughtfully. It wasn't quite as neat as it'd been before the raid on Bevelle, but it was still a great deal better than the piece of her dress would be without anything around to clean it. But she remembered Cid kneeling before her, carefully tending to her wounds, and somehow it felt wrong to undo that work and leave the cut bare.

She picked at the edge of the bandage for a moment more, than huffed out a small laugh and muttered to herself, "Lulu, you're being ridiculous," before unwinding the end of the bandage. It wasn't as though it were an either-or situation, she realized, starting a tear with her teeth then ripping off the end of the end of the bandage from it. All she needed was enough to make sure that the cloth covering the wound was clean, and he had overbound her wrist at least enough to do that. And even if he hadn't, she thought as she covered what was left the bullet's entrance hole with the clean scrap of bandage and began securing it to her arm with the strip of her dress, this sudden strange sentimentality would have had to be ignored. She would have left her wrist uncovered in the first place if Cid hadn't insisted on taking care of it; her arm was in much greater need of attention.

That done, she sighed and leaned back against the wall. It felt like it had been days since she'd had a chance to relax, not just a few hours since she'd been comfortably resting on Cid's couch. She still couldn't really allow herself to unwind, not when a fiend might come across her at any moment and force her to stand and fight, but at least she had moment to try and gather her energy.

But she quickly realized that couldn't _just_ rest, not when she was shaking off the urge to sleep almost as soon as her back touched the wall. If she gave into that urge she knew it was unlikely she would ever wake again, not when fiends could catch her scent at any moment. And so, in searching for something to keep herself awake, she found the radio.

"...Cid?" she said quietly into the tube, feeling a little ridiculous. What were the chances that such a small device could _really_ allow her to communicate with someone however far away he was by now?

Luckily, she didn't have much time to convince herself that nothing would happen before the radio suddenly crackled to life in her hand. "Lulu? That you?" Cid said on the other end, his voice sounding sleep-roughened.

She was surprised to find herself ridiculously comforted just by hearing those three words. She hadn't realized until then how reassuring it could be just to hear someone who was friendly and concerned, and who wasn't busy having to worry about their _own_ life. "Yes, it's me," she said in a more normal tone. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Nah, been to busy tryin' to work out everything that's wrong on the ship to sleep yet," he replied. "Besides, I wanted to stay up 'til I got word that all y'all got out've there safe. Everyone all right?"

"No," she said slowly. "We have... We've been sentenced to death. They've branded us traitors to Yevon."

The was a long pause on the other end, and, for a moment, she thought he might have just cut off their conversation there for not saving his daughter from the church. Then he finally said, "I think maybe you oughta tell me the whole story." 

"There isn't much to tell that you don't already know. Yevon is..." She trailed off, needing to press her forehead against her knees and shut her eyes tightly to brace herself against the sudden, almost overwhelming, twist of despair within her now that she was thinking about this without anything else to distract her attention. She hadn't felt such dismay since the day she'd heard that they'd found Chappu's broken body washed up on the Djose shore, a feeling so intense that she almost shook from the pain of it. "The church is _corrupt_," she said finally, when she'd pushed the feelings back enough to do so. "Right to its heart. Everything we believe in, everything we've put all of our faith and hopes into, the Maesters have made a mockery of it all."

As an Al Bhed, Cid had every right to laugh at that information, or boast that his people had been right about the church all along, or simply act as if he just didn't care at all. Lulu would have understood any of those reactions, although they would have lead to her never opening up to the man again. Instead, sounding uncomfortable, but at least as if he was honestly trying to make her feel better, he said, "I'm sure it ain't as bad as all that, now. If it were, people would've heard of it by now."

"Not when Maester Mika himself is part of it. He is dead already, just like Seymour. I don't know how long they've been hiding this, but... I believe his mind is already becoming that of a fiend, for all that his body looks the same as ever. The things that he said--telling us that death rules Spira, that Sin will never be defeated--I can't believe that he would say things like that if he were still in his right mind. And the other Maesters just _go along with it_, as if the teachings mean nothing to them! And, even beyond that, we found Bevelle itself full of the very machina they would excommunicate anyone else for having even one of." The more she spoke, the more she found her sorrow being pushed back by much more comfortable anger. "It's no wonder Sin continues to be reborn, when Yevon only needs to look to the leaders of the church to see that they don't repent at all."

He spoke slowly when he replied, seemingly feeling out his response even as he said it. "Well, you know I can't say much about that. But, whether y'all are the ones who're right about Sin or not, that sorta behavior ain't right. Especially not for folks claimin' to be your leaders. I know if _I_ tried anything like that, my people'd run me out on a rail."

"You must be a good leader for your people, Cid." Lulu sighed and stretched out her legs, no longer feeling the need to keep herself curled into a ball like a frightened child. "You know, you don't need to act concerned about all of this for my sake. I know you must be glad to hear that our religion is fracturing like this."

"Now that ain't fair to say. I've got to thinkin' lately, an' I figure you've gotta be a _damn_ vindictive person to be happy to hear there're people on their way to havin' a fiend in charge of them, and I like to think I'm not that bad. Not when I know that there're plenty of decent folks like you out there who're just unlucky enough to be born Yevonites. I can't wish somethin' like that on them. I'm not gonna lie to you an' say it wouldn't make me happy as a water flan on a rainy day to see The Church of Yevon crumble, but I want to see it happen on account of people realizin' its teachings don't work, not because you've got a bunch of bastards in charge of you."

"I suppose I can understand that," she said, not wanting to get into a debate about the truth of Yevon. "...And you may be a better person than I am. I don't know that I could be so noble in your position." 

"Yeah, well, I've had a lot to think about lately. Not that long ago I'd've felt that way m'self." He sounded embarrassed, but she couldn't think of why.

Not wanting to continue down that potentially volatile line of conversation, Lulu instead turned to what she needed to say but had been avoiding. "Cid, I need to ask your forgiveness."

"Eh? For what?" 

"I told you I would protect Rikku, but I was unable to do so. I tried my best, but she returned when one of the guards injured me instead of running for freedom. And after that they separated us, so I don't even know where she is now."

There was another long pause, and when he spoke again his voice was a little rougher. "Yeah, well, I could've told you that would happen. My little girl's not one to let a friend go down for her." 

"But, you told me to--"

"I told you to watch out for her, not to give up your life to pull her ass out of the fire. Maybe you've noticed by now; we aren't much for sacrifice. Look, it's not that I don't appreciate you tryin' to protect her, but we Al Bhed got a sayin'; 'dyga uhmo ouin lusnytac.' It means that when things get the worst they can be, the one thing you don't abandon is the people you give a damn about. Rikku'll take your help, but not if it takes your life."

"Still, I need to apologize. For having to tell you she has been condemned to death, if for nothing else."

"You don't gotta apologize for that either. You're still alive, aren'tcha? So _live_. Get yourself out of there, an' bring my Rikku an' all the rest of your friends with you. If you don't see a way to do that from where you are, _find one._" His tone was fiercer than she'd ever heard it, and she suddenly realized that this was Cid: Commander of the Al Bhed speaking, not Cid: man who would so obviously begin doting on his niece the moment they met. This was the man who was such a great leader that his people would follow his orders even when they were to destroy their own city, and the difference from the double-speak in honeyed tones that was all she ever seemed to hear from the maesters was striking.

"I will try," she said. "If there is any way at all, I will do my best to find it."

"So, what're you waitin' for?" he asked, returning to the more jovial tone she'd grown used to. "Get to it!"

"I will," she said, pushing herself to her feet even as she did so. Somehow he made her feel confident that in some way everything would turn out all right. "Goodbye, Cid." 

"Be seeing you, Lulu," he replied as she put the radio away.

She flexed her arm as she turned back toward the passageways she'd walked through on her way to the spot she'd rested, feeling the sharp stabs of pain that shot through it from what remained of the gunshot wound and judging how much she'd be able to use the arm to help shape her spells as she decided which direction to set out in. The decision, she found, was very easy to make, as as soon as she stopped speaking with Cid she became aware of the sound of voices not that far off.

A burst of intense relief shot through her when following those voices lead her to Yuna, already accompanied by Auron. She was so glad to see that she had been wrong in her belief that they would be more lenient on a summoner than on her guardians, that Yuna wasn't locked up in the temple somewhere waiting for Seymour to carry out whatever plans he had in store for her.

"Lulu, I..." Yuna started, but trailed off. But she didn't need to say anymore, Lulu could read the apology on her face easily.

"It's okay," she said kindly. "I know."

Yuna gave her a brave smile, then turned and continued deeper into the maze, leaving her two guardians to follow behind. Lulu meant to stick close to her side, but instead Auron held her back until there was just enough room between the two of them and her for them to talk privately in low voices. "You're favoring your left arm," he said. "It wasn't injured at the trial." 

She didn't ask how he'd noticed that when she'd barely moved it in front of him. Auron seemed to notice everything around him; it was foolish of her to think she could keep anyone from noticing she was wounded until they'd made it to safety with him around. "There was a conflict with the guards," she said simply.

The corner of his lips lifted in the way he had where she couldn't tell if it was meant to be a smile or a smirk. "I thought that I heard someone putting up a fight when they were gathering up the condemned. You're lucky that you're a guardian."

"Am I?" she asked drily. "It doesn't seem to have saved me from the punishment any other traitor would be given."

"Perhaps not. But it saved you from bleeding to death on the floor of your cage. The men chosen as guards in this temple are, in their own twisted way, the most devote soldiers the church can produce. They would never taint their hands with the lifeblood of a guardian if there was any chance they could get her down here to die a 'natural' death instead."

"I see. I had wondered why they spared my life then." She touched the hole in her sleeve, almost invisible with the dark strip of lining wrapped around her arm under it blending into the sleeve around it, and focused her eyes on Yuna. "Don't tell her. Rikku healed it enough for now before we were separated; Yuna can't be wasting her energy out of worry for me when we don't know what's ahead of us."

"I didn't intend to," he said, starting to speed up to catch up with Yuna. "As long as _you_ don't put too much strain on that arm. As you said, we don't know what's ahead of us."

She watched him walk away from her, and considered how matter-of-factly he'd talked about the taint in the church. She remembered how cynical he, twice a guardian -- the last time for a high summoner even! -- seemed about the church when she overheard him speaking with Tidus from time to time, and during the rare moments when he was so unguarded with the rest of them.

Now, with the new knowledge she possessed, she wondered how long it had been since the day the realization of the corruption in the church had struck him like a punch to the gut. 

And she wondered how _he_ had dealt with that grief.


	7. Interlude One

Tidus's lungs were beginning to burn, the length of the channel they'd been thrown in enough to strain even his blitzballer's lungs, when Wakka suddenly shot upward in front of him. For a second he was worried that something was wrong, until he looked up after him and noticed that the ceiling looked further away and more distorted by the water than it had been the whole time they'd been swimming. 

Wakka had spotted the surface.

Rikku was already heading up by the time he started following, kicking his legs with more energy than he'd have thought he had left in his body just a minute before. The pain in his lungs felt worse than ever now that they knew air was close, but he ignored it. It wouldn't matter for long anyway.

He gasped deeply the moment he broke the surface, and for a long while none of them did anything but concentrate on breathing. Then Tidus rolled his body into a back float and took a look around. "Hey," he said, "I thought there was gonna be an exit here. What gives?"

"Nah, this is only the halfway mark," Wakka replied. "Like a rest stop."

Tidus made a face as he absorbed this new bit of information about the increasingly confusing puzzle that was Yevonism. "Wait, why would they let you take a pit stop in a prison? That doesn't make sense."

"'Course it does! It's showing honor to Yevon. No one could get this far unless he decided to bless them with a little extra time, ya? So, when they make a make like this, they put somewhere to rest halfway through, to show Yevon they have faith he knows what he's doin'. Never really studied much 'bout these old prison mazes--never thought I'd need to, you know?--but I knew if I just kept an eye open I'd be able to find this place for us. No _way_ Yevon ain't on our side." 

"Oh, I get it! That's why there's gonna be an exit somewhere, right? Because, if we can get all that way, it'll show them that Yevon thought we were innocent and they need to let us go free!"

Wakka looked troubled, "That's the way it's supposed to be, but I don't know 'bout now. If things've gotten so bad we have unsent maesters, I don't know if they're gonna follow the traditions. Ah well, we just gotta have faith that Yevon'll keep us safe." He turned toward where Rikku was floating across the area from them and called out in a teasing voice, "Even if you're a heathen Al Bhed, you hear?"

It was Rikku just making a distracted noise instead of yelling right back at Wakka that let Tidus know something was up with her. "Hey, Rikku, you okay?" he asked.

"Mm?" she hummed, than seemed to realize what he'd asked. "Oh! I'm all right! I'm just kinda worried about Lulu."

That got Wakka's attention. "Eh? Somethin' wrong with Lu?"

"Not really!" Rikku said, waving her hands in front of her for a second before she had to splash them back down to help herself tread water. "I mean, I fixed her enough so she'll be okay until she sees Yunie again. But... she kinda went all crazy on the guards when they came to get us!" 

"Lulu went..." Wakka started, then, to Tidus's surprise, trailed off into a laugh. "That's Lulu! Seymour and his lot'll be sorry they got on the wrong end of _her_ temper." 

"I don't know if that's really it," Rikku said. "_Something's_ up with her and my pop, I _know_ it! She said she was doing it because he asked her to help me, and that sounds like something the old idiot would do when he starts thinking I can't take care of myself, but I don't know _why_ he'd trust Lulu enough to ask _her_ if nothing's up!"

"Lulu and Cid?" Wakka asked, then laughed again but this time it sounded uncertain. "You're talkin' crazy, Rikku. He's _Al Bhed._ Uh, no offense."

"And I don't think dad would do anything with a _Yevonite_ either. I mean, that's why he kicked Auntie Kalna out of Home. But I still think something's up."

"So? Lulu's making friends with your dad. What's it matter?" Tidus asked, confused. It wasn't like Rikku seemed to have the problems with Cid that he had with his dad.

"So, Lulu's _my_ friend! It'll be weird if she starts hanging out with my pop." Rikku rolled her eyes like that was the most obvious thing in the world. "Anyway, that's not what's really important! Lulu got shot, but she still didn't want me to come back and help her. I know her arm'll be okay, but I hope _she_ will." 

Wakka's eyes widened. "Shot? You mean with one of those damned machina?"

"Don't you mean 'one of those _blessed_ machina,' considering who's using them?" Rikku asked, unable to resist the dig. "Anyway, yeah, what else would I mean?"

"Than what're we hanging around here for?" Wakka asked, turning to swim back into the main channel. "If something's up with Lulu and your old man, it don't matter now. If Lulu's hurt, that's what matters, ya?"

Tidus and Rikku exchanged a look then went after him. Tidus privately thought that if Rikku was right about Lulu being all right than getting more rest was more important, but even more important than that was making sure Wakka didn't get himself killed by fiends trying to make his way through the prison on his own.

And so the swim began again.


	8. Chapter Seven

"Yuna's off in the woods," Lulu said to Tidus. They had finally escaped from Bevelle into the Macalania Woods, and he was making his way around the group, talking to everyone. Everyone except the one person who Lulu thought needed to speak with him the most. "Kimahri's with her, but maybe you should go too? I think it might help if you were there."

Tidus rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, everyone else said that too. I don't really know what to say to her though. I mean, it's good she found all this stuff about the church out, right? Now that she knows what they're really like, maybe she'll stop it with the pilgrimage! Find something else to do!" He lowered his head and scruffed the ground with his foot. "But I don't think it'd help if I said _that_ to her. Of course, even if I don't, she's gonna have a chance to stop and think about whether she really wants to fight, right?" He suddenly straightened up. "Oh well, I'll think of something!" 

"But..." Lulu started to say, but he was already trotting away. She continued her thought softly anyway. "It would be so easy to fight without thinking... Walk a straight line. So easy."

"But when do any of us do the easy thing?" a cheerful voice said from behind Lulu, startling her. 

"Oh, Rikku! I didn't know you were there."

"I wanted to see how you were! Is your arm all healed up?" Rikku reached out to touch it, stopping when Lulu flinched. "It _isn't?_ I thought Yunie would take care of it!"

"Yuna had more important things to worry about. I didn't want her to worry about me as well."

Rikku huffed and held out her hands. "Gimme." Lulu gave her her arm willingly, relaxing as the warmth of Rikku's healing magic spread through it. She worked more slowly than Yuna, lacking the speed and the magical strength that came from years of training at the temple, but in a way Lulu found her healing preferable when speed wasn't necessary. The additional time spent experiencing the soothing feeling of the spell left her mind as well as her body feeling rejuvenated. "I don't know _what's_ gotten into you today," Rikku said when she was almost done, in the same scolding tone she might use with a child, " but you've _gotta_ cut it out. Even if there hadn't been a way out of there, and I'd gone ahead and escaped, you think I'd have been happy when I thought about how I only got out 'cause you decided to get all self-sacrificing? And do you think my old man would be happy when I told him you decided _whatever_ it was he said to you meant 'keep Rikku safe even if it's gotta be over your dead body?'" 

"I know, Rikku. I understand now. _Dyga uhmo ouin lusnytac,_ right?"

Rikku glanced up from her work, surprised. "Yeah. How'd you know that?"

"I heard it somewhere. I doesn't really matter. The important thing is, it will not happen again. It wouldn't have to begin with if it hadn't been for the circumstances we were in. I... did not want to die on _Seymour's_ terms."

"Well, I can sure understand _that_," Rikku said, then slid her hands down from the now fully-healed bullet wound to Lulu's wrist. "You want me to do these too?"

"No," Lulu said firmly, yanking her hand out of Rikku's grasp. At the girl's startled look, she continued in a more friendly tone, "Those are just scratches. You don't need to waste your energy on them. Cid's bandages will do well enough."

"_Riight._" Rikku said, studying her closely. "Lulu, you know..." She paused and bit her lip, seeming to think about what she was about to say, then quickly blurted out, "My mom's been gone a long time, so if you _are_ interested in my dad that way you don't need to worry about anyone being in your way. Just don't tell me about it because _I don't need those mental pictures._"

"Rikku, I thought we'd been through this already. There isn't anything--" 

"But if there _was_," Rikku cut in quickly, "if there was it'd be okay. Really really weird, but I'm not gonna be a brat about it or anything. Though I don't know if you'd be able to get anywhere, since you're not Al Bhed." She bounced to her feet suddenly. "Anyway, you're a nice person, and it's not like he doesn't deserve someone as good as you, but I really don't wanna think about this anymore, so I'll just be over there, okay?" 

"What on Spira brought that on?" Lulu murmured to herself as she watched Rikku dash away, saying something Lulu couldn't quite catch about scrubbing out her brain, then stood herself and walked over to Wakka. She could be sure that he, at least, would always act normally.

Or not, as he jumped up when he saw her approaching and reached out to carefully rest his hands on her shoulders, acting like he was steadying her even though it wasn't needed. "Lu, you all right? Shouldn't you still be sitting down?"

"Wakka, what in the world are you talking about?"

"Rikku told me about one've those damn machina hurting you! Don't you think you oughta be resting after that? Here, you can have where I was sitting. It's real comfortable!" 

Lulu closed her eyes, feeling a headache coming on. "Wakka, I'm fine. Rikku healed it most of the way right after it happened, and just finished the job a moment ago. I don't want to steal your seat."

"But, it was a _machina_. Who knows the sorta things one've those might do to you! Better safe than sorry, ya?"

Lulu sighed as Wakka continued hovering over her like she might fall apart at any moment. She was beginning to realize that it was going to be a long night.


	9. Chapter Eight

Note: Sorry for the lateness of this one. There was some real life stuff keeping me from working on it for most of the week.

• • •

Lulu sat away from the sleeping bodies of the others, gazing out over the Calm Lands and trying to ignore the way her stomach was twisting.

She thought of the Calm Lands as a trap, as much of a way to weed out summoners too weak for the final summoning as Gagazet was. When a person stepped out from the Macalania woods onto the cliff overlooking the Calm Lands, the flatness of the land made the distance to the mountain seem deceptively short. If a summoner and their guardians were fooled, and tried to cross it as quickly as they thought they could, they would reach the end too exhausted to survive the final stretch of the pilgrimage.

Lulu had learned that lesson well her first time there, when she and Ginnem had rushed across the plain as if Sin itself had been on their heels. They had managed to cross it incredibly quickly, true, but by the time they were following the path down into the valley just beyond they'd been so tired that they could barely defeat the fiends they came across on the way.

Lulu curled her knees to her chest at the memories. With the wisdom of hindsight she realized that that should have been a warning to them, but that wisdom had come too late for Ginnem. At least it had managed to save Zuke from Zanarkand; her forcing them to move slowly and rest at night to preserve their strength had been what finally gave his doubts time to catch up with him. He had announced he would be abandoning his journey before the second night was through.

And Yuna's pilgrimage would end there as well, Lulu knew with great certainty. Not with abandonment, or, she prayed though her fears gave her doubts, at the end of a fiend's claws, but by battling Sin until her body was burnt out and The Calm came again. She had never been so sure that a summoner she'd met would be able to make it through Zanarkand, not even when she'd briefly seen High Summoner Braska when she was a child.

But there was one more thing Yuna would need to do before moving on to that place, and Lulu desperately hoped that it would go well.

She absently raised Cid's radio to her mouth, not really thinking about what she was doing, and quietly said into it, "I'm afraid I'll need to apologize to you once more, Cid."

"What for this time?" he asked, so quickly that part of her wondered if he kept his radio as close to him as she kept hers.

"I'm afraid that soon I'll be leading Yuna, and Rikku, into danger that could easily be avoided." She kept her eyes fixed on the cliffs to the north, the images of the bridges they would cross and the cave below vivid in her mind even after so many years.

"What in tarnation are you plannin' on doin' _that_ for?" he asked, but she noticed that he wasn't immediately arguing for her not to do it the way she'd expected he would. Did he really trust her so much, even after they'd known each other such a short while, to believe she'd have a good reason that easily?

"...This is my third pilgrimage." 

"That supposed to be your excuse? 'Cause it don't exactly make sense as one." He replied when she paused briefly to chose her words.

"It's the start of one." She shifted, stretching one leg out in front of her, studying the four round scars on it where a Valaha's claws had pieced the skin when it stamped down on it, fracturing the bone. Ginnem had half-dragged, half-carried her to the entrance of the cavern, where a Ronso had found her a day later and brought her to their healer, then she had gone back in alone to try and find the fayth. It had been the last time Lulu saw her. "When they think I can't hear them, there are people who call me a cursed guardian, and say I bring failure to any pilgrimage I'm on. I suppose they'll take Yuna being branded a traitor as further proof of that. My first pilgrimage ended nearby, with the death of my summoner. I waited as long as I could before starting my journey back to Besaid, but no other summoner made it that far for as long as I was there, and Lady Ginnem was never given a sending." She sighed, and curled her leg under her once more. "I know it is wrong to ask Yuna to enter a place that has already claimed one of my summoners, but, if there's anything left there for her to send, I _must._ As my final duty to Lady Ginnem."

He let out an audible breath, and she could just picture him rubbing the back of his head. "Well, can't exactly blame you for takin' care of a friend, can I?"

"More than a friend. Ginnem was the one who raised me after my parents died, though she was hardly older than a child herself. But, she was my only living family, and when the church contacted her she came rather than let them care for me. I owe her a great deal, but I'm afraid that now a sending is all I can offer her."

"Than take care've your family, Lulu. Ain't no Al Bhed on Spira who can't understand someone doin' that. But you _better_ keep takin' care of those two l'il girls while you're at it."

She balled her free hand into a loose fist. "Of course I will. I intend to never fail those relying on me again."

"That's all you've gotta say. The Sands know I've dragged my kids off into too many fiend-filled ruins to have _any_ room to talk when someone else wants to do it."

"Thank you, Cid."

"Eh? What for?"

"Talking about this helps. With the memories, I mean. And I could not have done so with the others, not this close to the end. No one wants to give much thought to a fallen summoner now; they all want to either focus on Yuna succeeding in receiving the Final Aeon, or on finding a way to turn her from the path she's on so she'll survive."

"Well," he said roughly, "glad to be of help."

Lulu turned, looking across the agency to where Yuna was sleeping, and frowned thoughtfully. "One last thing..."

"Yeah?" 

"It won't be that long before we reach Zanarkand. I know you wanted to see Yuna before... before her Calm begins. Do you think your ship will be fit to fly in time to beat us there?"

There was the sound of papers ruffling on other end of the radio before Cid spoke again. "I don't rightly know. Repairs should be done in a few more days; think maybe you could slow her up some to give me time? Or would that be against some sorta guardian's code?" 

"Don't worry about _that_," she told him. "One thing I can assure you is that I'll be making sure Yuna goes slowly enough so she won't waste any energy between here and there. It will certainly be several more days, at least."

Yes, she had learned that lesson well indeed.


	10. Chapter Nine

Note: First of all, before we begin I thought I ought to clear something up. Looking at the stats, I _think_ some people might think I used the word "Interlude" to indicate an author's note taking the place of a chapter, and skipping it since they don't think it's important. But, just so you know if you are one of those people, the interludes (there may be another this week) are part of the story, they just focus on characters who aren't Lulu or Cid. You _don't_ need to read them to follow the story, but they'll give you a little glimpse of what's going on in the heads of the rest of the group.

Just wanted to make sure there wasn't any confusion over that, since I noticed that that chapter's being read less than the ones on either side of it and thought that there might be.

• • •

"Let's stay the night here, before starting over the mountain," Lulu had said, after they'd been accepted by the Ronso tribe.

Tidus and Rikku had agreed right away, wanting the extra time to plot she was sure, Wakka surprised her by being the one who convinced Yuna to take a break. He pulled her not-quite far enough away to keep Lulu from overhearing them, though she was sure he thought they were, and muttered to her, "I think we oughta stop too. Lu's had a really tough day, ya know? With Lady Ginnem an' all."

Even just a few weeks before, Lulu would have snapped at him for believing her to be so weak that she'd _need_ rest to deal with her grief, but now, so near to Zanarkand and so worn by all that had occurred over the past several days, she had just found herself feeling grateful that at least one thing remained unchanged. That, whatever else happened, Wakka would _never_ learn how not to rouse her temper.

At any rate, what he'd said had worked, and Yuna had gone back to Kelk Ronso to ask for rooms for the night.

Lulu certainly hoped that Cid would appreciate her buying him another day to beat them to Zanarkand, because otherwise she never would have wished to stay in a Ronso cave again. It was, thankfully, a different one than the one she'd stayed in all those years before, but the thick stone walls surrounding her still reminded her of the long days she'd spent waiting for her leg to finish mending, staring out the window carved into the cave wall and praying that one day she would see Ginnem walking up the path to the village. If there was one point in her life that she'd rather not have cause to dwell on, that was it.

She was just preparing to leave her room and go pace the beginning of the path leading up the mountain until she became tired enough to fall asleep without her memories keeping her awake when the door banged open and Rikku came in.

"Hey, Lulu! Do you mind if I hang out here for awhile?" Rikku asked, already plopping down at the foot of Lulu's bed.

"It would have been polite to at least _pretend_ you would take no for an answer, Rikku." But Lulu settled down in a chair herself, resigned to the fact it would be awhile yet before she had a chance to walk.

"Sorry!" Rikku said, but it was obvious from her grin that she was completely unrepentant.

After that they stay quiet for awhile, Lulu waiting for Rikku to say whatever she was there for, and Rikku twisting and fidgeting, apparently trying to get comfortable. Finally Lulu lost patience with this. "What _is_ it, Rikku?" 

"Oh! Um, _Well_ nothing really!" Rikku twisted the cover of the pelt covering the bed and wrinkled her nose. "I just don't really like it here."

"So you come to me?" Lulu asked, feeling faintly surprised.

"Well, yeah. Not like there's anyone else. I mean, I didn't mean that how it sounded! Just that Yunie really _should_ get rest, and all the others aren't really all that comforting."

Lulu wasn't quite sure whether she should be insulted or touched by Rikku's babbling. "And I am?"

Rikku's face scrunched up thoughtfully. "Well, not, like, in a normal 'hug me and tell me everything'll be all right' way, but you're tough, and you're cool, and I _know_ you'll watch my back, and, well, _you_ wouldn't get freaked out by being in a place like this."

Lulu wondered what Rikku would think if the girl knew she was probably more unsettled than she was, than sighed and moved to sit beside Rikku on the bed, somewhat uncomfortable resting a hand on her shoulder. She never really tried to give comfort to anyone but Yuna, and couldn't quite feel at ease doing so. "Why does it bother you here, Rikku?"

"It's just _totally_ different from back home, you know what I mean? The desert's all hot, and flat when you're not somewhere with dunes, and this place is so cold and... _not_ flat. It's kind've scary, thinking we're gonna start going over the whole thing tomorrow."

"You knew that Gagazet was on the path to Zanarkand, Rikku."

"Yeah, but knowing that is _way_ different that actually looking at it." Lulu could feel Rikku's shoulder shudder under her hand. "What if we fall off?"

"We won't be climbing up the face of a cliff, Rikku. The path _is_ supposed to lead all the way to Zanarkand." She let go of Rikku, and absently smoothed the skirt of her dress as she thought for a moment. "Perhaps you should speak with Sir Auron about what it will be like. We're lucky to have him with us; I don't believe I've ever heard of a Summoner who travelled with someone who already knew what would be coming when they reached the mountain."

"Come on, Lulu. You know there's no way I'd be able to get anything out of Mr. Closed-Mouth if he doesn't want to tell me. He'll just say something like 'You'll see what it's like when we get there' and look all _smug_." Rikku fell back on Lulu's bed, flinging her arms over the head. "I wish my pop had waited around for us, so we could fly right over it!"

"Ah." Lulu looked down at her hands in her lap. "Well, perhaps he will catch up with us, and you'll be able to ride in the airship on the way back." 

Rikku smiled at the thought. "I wish. And then we could shove Yunie inside, and fly her away to an island somewhere so she'll never be able to get to the Final Aeon!"

Lulu closed her eyes. "Rikku, you know you wouldn't be allowed to do that." 

"_Why not_?" Rikku shot upward again and stared at Lulu, eyes wide. "You don't want her to die any more than I do! I've noticed how much you've made us slow down now that we're getting closer, and I thought, maybe..." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Maybe you'd be with me and Tidus about making her stop."

"I made her go slowly so she'll have energy to face the mountain, Rikku," Lulu said, suddenly feeling very tired. "Of course I'd be glad if she decided to turn from her path, but that's _her_ choice to make. No one elses." 

Rikku propped her elbows up on her knees, rested her chin on her hands, and let her hair fall forward to obscure her face. "I don't know how you and Wakka and Kimahri can act so cool about it." 

Lulu slowly reached on to rest her hand on Rikku's back. "Because Yuna would have gone on without us if we'd tried to stop her. Because this way at least we can be with her until the end. Because it's all we _can_ do."

But she knew that neither of them were really happy with that answer. _Cid,_ she thought to herself, _I'm sure that, wherever you are, you'd be happy if you knew your daughter is still holding onto your goals._

Lulu was sure it wouldn't work, but she was glad that Rikku, at least, still had hope.


	11. Chapter Ten

The fire was almost out, but no one had fallen asleep yet. How could they, with Zanarkand stretched out below them? No one spoke, no one moved, even breathing too deeply felt like it would be taboo with the bleak mood that had settled over the group as the night passed them by.

Finally, unable to stand there not being anything to listen to but her thoughts any longer, Lulu pushed herself to her feet and walked away from the group, settling down again with the remains of a wall between her and the rest of them. A few of them looked up at her as she moved, but none of them asked what she was doing.

"Cid, are you there?" she asked quietly into the radio. "Are you awake?"

"Ain't got not time to sleep now, do I?" he replied a moment later. "Been in too damn much of a rush."

Lulu sighed, wrapping her free arm around her waist. "I am... I'm afraid that you won't need to rush any longer?"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean," he asked, but Lulu could tell from his tone that he suspected the truth.

"We reached Zanarkand, Cid. Tomorrow Yuna will receive the final aeon. You may still have a chance to meet her, but it'll be too late for you to have any chance of stopping her."

"_Tysh ed!_" he exclaimed, loud enough that even dampened by the radio and the distance between them his words reached her at a shout. She had to peek around the wall to make sure none of the others had heard it as he continued, "I _knew_ I should've gone to see her when we had her in the sanctum. If I just hadn't been..."

Lulu waited a moment to see if he would continue on his own, before deciding to probe for more information. "If you hadn't been what, Cid?"

His voice was tired as he said, "If I hadn't been tryin' to be a hero for her. I didn't want her to see me as nothin' more than a kidnapper the first time we met. I wanted to be able to go up to her an' say 'Hey there, I'm your uncle Cid, and my men and I just blew Sin to pieces so you don't have'ta worry about that ever again.' Damn cowardly of me, I know, but I reckon most people'd've felt the same way."

"...I believe you're right," she said, leaving the thought _if they were the sort who would kidnap a family member in the first place_ unsaid. "But it's a bit late for regrets."

"We'll be there by nightfall tomorrow. Ain't there _anything_ you can do to hold them back that long?"

"I'm sorry, Cid. You _know_ that I would if I could. I don't want to see her die any more than you do." Even less, because she had been raised beside Yuna since she was eleven, while he hadn't even met her yet. But Lulu wouldn't say that to him either.

He said nothing in return, and Lulu looked out over Zanarkand, content with the silence now that this one, at least, was breakable. After a few minutes she murmured, mostly to herself, "It's so strange..."

"Eh? What is?"

"Oh, this place," she replied, pulling her mind out of the absent state it had fallen into.

"Yeah? Never been there m'self. What's so weird about it?" he asked, sounding curious.

She laughed at herself softly as she answered, "Absolutely nothing, aside from the city seeming to attracted pyreflies almost as well as the Moonflow."

"You know, y'ain't makin' much sense here, Miss. Guardian," he said, seemingly beginning to lose patience with her.

"I've just always imagined that when I saw Zanarkand, it would _feel_ holy, somehow. That I would be able to tell just by looking that it was the most sacred place in the world."

"Yeah? And what's it like instead?"

"Like any ruins in Spira, just with more of them left intact then you see most places. And I don't believe that it's even as whole as the city under the Moonflow would be, if it were ever raised to the surface once more." 

"Bit of a letdown?"

"I suppose you could call it that. I certainly didn't expect that I'd find myself sitting beside a wall that could have been from the rubble on Besaid I used to play on as a child."

"Well, you've gotta remember that whatever y'all believe happened there way back when, it _was_ just a city. Just like any other you see around from back then."

"I understand that. But it's one thing to know it logically, and another to really see and recognize it." 

"I guess I can kind've get that. 'Course, it's never been nothin' but just a city to me, so I can't totally understand what it'd be like."

"Mm." She glanced over her at the others once more. " I think that I'm glad that it's just a city to you, Cid."

"Huh?" He sounded honestly baffled.

"I don't believe that I could talk about this with anyone who felt the same way as I do." She rested her cheek against the wall, and quietly admitted, "Not just about this, but about _everything_ that's been happening lately. It would be too... too _much_ to talk with someone who was feeling the same way. We'd just end up feeding each other fears and misgivings, I think. Or, even worse, they might not feel the same way at all. But, with you, I know that I can just talk, and I don't need to worry about your ever being too blinded by Yevon to listen to anything against the church, or feeling too betrayed yourself to really listen to someone else's concerns." She smiled slightly, even though she knew he couldn't seen it. "Too outraged by the church to believe anything good about them, perhaps, but, then, sometimes a little outrage may be a good thing. At least it's better than blind obeisance, I can see now."

"Yeah, well..." he said, the words sounding awkward, as if he couldn't quite believe he was saying them. "I kinda like talkin' like this too. Ya give me a lot to think on about what it's like on your side've things that I never would've before, anyway. Nothin' that makes me think any _better_ of your church, but maybe a little better of some've the people in it."

"It's all right. I wouldn't believe you if you ever said you _did_ like the church more than before, Cid," she said, a little amazed even as she did it that she could feel like teasing with everything that was happening.

"Good thing, that, or you'd be in for a lifetime've disappointment waitin' for it to happen." He coughed, and she thought that she might have heard a laugh behind it. "Anyway... I'll be seein' you tomorrow, okay? Whatever happens with Yuna, I'll meet y'all before you've left the city." 

"Then, I will be watching the skies for you. Goodnight, Cid." She paused for a moment, then added, "I promise that I won't let Yuna leave without meeting you, if you're a little later than you think."

"I _won't_ be. No chance." He sounded so certain that she couldn't doubt him. "Night, Lulu."

And then the radio went quiet.


	12. Chapter Eleven

Lulu didn't know if she'd be welcomed or turned away when she followed Cid when he left the bridge after Yuna's silent thanks. She could see that he was upset, even if everyone else was more focused on Yuna, or Sin, or Tidus and his father, and if there was anything she could do to help she was willing to try.

And, she could admit, more than that she wanted to be able to greet him, something she hadn't been able to do with the others surrounding them and Sin so close by that they could have practically leapt onto it (him, she reminded herself, Sir Jecht) from the ship if they'd wanted to. There would have been too many questions to answer if she'd run straight to him, and there were much more important things that they needed to concentrate on.

She didn't hesitate this time as she walked through the corridors of the ship until she reached the top of the stairs and saw Yuna, Tidus, and Kimahri speaking, but she only stopped for a moment before quickly climbing the last few steps, sliding the card Cid had given her the first time they'd met through the lock on the side of the door, and slipping in. She thought that Kimahri might have spotted her, but she knew that _he_ wouldn't mention it to anyone else.

She knocked out the door and called out "Cid?" feeling a little strange as she did so. They'd started so many conversations that way, but _this_ time it wouldn't just be a faceless voice she was talking to. This time, as soon as his door opened, they would be face to face.

"Come on in," he said as the door swung open. She found herself feeling oddly shy as she stepped through and took the same spot on his couch that she'd sat on the first time she'd been there. It had been so easy to talk to him when he was just a voice, but when she looked at him she saw a person she barely knew instead of the man she'd come to consider her friend. But she felt a little easier when she looked up at him and could tell from his body language that he was feeling the same awkwardness.

"...We should be celebrating," she said before the silence could press on them too much.

"You're right about that," he said, grabbing the bottle and glasses from the bar and filling one for each of them just like before. This time Lulu didn't stop to think about it before clicking her glass against his in a wordless toast and taking a sip. "Nobody ever told me she looked so much like her ma," he said after swallowing, studying the liquor in his glass. 

"Does she? I would have, if I'd known, but I've only ever seen Yuna's mother in the farplane, and I was... distracted at the time." She remembered the first time she'd seen Tidus, the dearly loved face under the different coloring and hairstyle, and sighed. "I know how much it hurts when see someone who looks like someone you've lost."

"Hm, do ya now?" he asked, taking another swig from his glass.

"Very much so. In fact, I experience it every day now."

He set back, and she thought that he might be glad to be able to latch onto this other topic of conversation instead of his own personal pain. "Which've them is it?"

"Tidus. Wakka, sometimes, when the light is dim. But don't tell him that, please. I know he wouldn't want to think he was making me upset."

He gave her a look like she'd said something strange. "Ya know those two don't look a thing alike, don'tcha?"

"I'm not blind, Cid. But, put together, they look like the man I was going to marry."

His eyes suddenly went guarded, though she couldn't say why. "You were engaged?"

"We would have been, if he had returned from fighting with the Crusaders." Not that long before speaking like this would have made her feel like a Sinspawn had torn through her torso, spilling her innards for all to see, but she was surprised now to find that it had abated to a dull pain in her chest, one much easier to speak around. Had it really been that long since his death?

As if he could hear her thoughts, Cid said, "Couldn't have been that long ago, huh? I mean, you're still young. _That_ long ago an' ya wouldn't've been plannin' on marryin' him."

"It was a year before we started Yuna's pilgrimage. Closer to two now. Long enough for it to be easier, now. And... I knew almost all of my life that I would marry him one day." She smiled sadly, thinking back on those lost days.

"Well... sorry to hear that," he said.

"Thank you. But it's all right. I'm hardly the first person to lose someone to Sin, and, no matter how quickly we find a way to finish all of this, I'm sure that I won't be the last." The silence really _was_ uncomfortable after that. _Wonderful job of celebrating, Lulu_ she thought, and suddenly found herself laughing, the sound strange to her own ears. "This is ridiculous," she said.

"What is?" he asked, looking at her like he suspected she might've cracked right before his eyes.

"I _know_ you, Cid," she said, leaning forward to catch his eyes with her own serious ones. Ones of her braids slipped from her shoulder as she moved, swinging out and brushing across his leg then settling there when it swung back again, but neither of them moved to brush it away. "Not as well as I know Yuna or Wakka, of course, but I _do_ know you. And you know me. And yet, just because we're unused to speaking with one and other in person, we're being almost as awkward as if we were strangers. _That_ is ridiculous."

Now he laughed to, and rubbed one of his knees. "I reckon you're right. It is pretty dumb. But we've got plenty of time to get past that, huh?"

She smiled slightly, and bent her head. "All that we need, once Sin is gone. Speaking of which, we should return to the bridge before Tidus and Yuna finish speaking with each other. I'm sure that they'll be wanting to make plans soon."

He pushed himself to his feet and gestured to the door. "All righty then, after you."


	13. Chapter Twelve

"Back already?" Cid asked, looking up at her as she walked into his room.

"Yuna has gone with Tidus to speak to the fayth in Bevelle. They told the rest of us to stay behind, so I decided to come back here."

He narrowed his eyes. "You trust 'em not to attack her when she hasn't got most've her guardians?"

"For now... Things have changed." She sat down and frowned slightly, thinking about what had happened in Bevelle. "The church's story is now that Yuna being a traitor was 'an evil rumor spread by the Al Bhed'. It looks as though we've been exonerated."

"Looks like y'all've been, you mean. _We've_ become the scapegoat." He turn toward the window that took up most of one wall of his room, glaring down at Bevelle for a moment before returning his attention to her. "An' what'd you tell them when they said that?"

Lulu rested her chin on her hand and studied the ceiling as she considered the best way to answer that. "At the moment, it is Yuna's decision whether to reveal that they're lying or not. She has decided not to say anything for now, so neither shall we. But soon, when Sin is defeated and we're our own people again instead of having everything we say and do considered a reflection of Yuna's beliefs, we'll be able to decide for ourselves what we wish to say."

"Yeah? An' just what're you plannin' on tellin' them?"

Lulu was surprised by how hurt she felt that he even had to ask. "You don't know?"

Cid leaned back and shrugged, at ease from all appearances if it weren't for the sharp look in his eyes. "Let's just say I wanna hear you say it."

"Cid..." Lulu reached forward and covered her hand with his, hoping he could tell from her expression how sincere she was being, "after all that's happened, I would never deny the help you've given us, or the time that I've spent here. Even if it means I'll be labelled a traitor once more, even if it means I'm considered one forever, I will _not_ hide the fact that I am a friend to the Al Bhed." 

"All right." He turned his hand palm-upwards under hers, closed his fingers around hers, and flashed her a grin. "Glad to hear it! And, you know, if the traitor thing gets to be to much for you, I reckon you can always find a place with us."

"I think," she said slowly, "perhaps one day I'll do that. Now that I've begun to... widen my horizons, it would be a shame not to continue to do so, and that would be difficult to do back in Besaid." As she spoke her eyes were drawn to their linked hands and she could feel her stomach twisting and her heart pounding in her chest as if something important were happening, but, feeling lost and foolish at her lack of insight into her own emotions, she didn't realize what it was until he reached out with his free hand and gently touched her cheek.

"I'll be glad to have you," he said, voice lacking its usual gruffness.

Her breath caught in her throat, and then she was up, pulling herself away from him almost entirely except she found that she couldn't bring herself to let go of his hand quite yet. To leave him thinking she'd rejected him completely. "We've spoken too long. I'm supposed to be back on the Highbridge to meet Yuna when she gets back." His expression, when she made herself raise her eyes to meet his, was more closed off than she'd ever seen it. Almost as startling to her as what had just happened was how sickening she found her certainty that by the time she returned he would have begun distancing himself from her if she couldn't convince him right away that that was the last thing she wanted to happen. "I _will_ return, as soon as Yuna's safely back. But if, for whatever reason, you'd rather I don't," she said, pulling her hand from his to take out the keycard for the residential area of the ship and hold it out to him, "take this back, and I promise I'll never bother you again." She unconsciously bite her bottom lip then immediately caught herself and stopped, embarrassed at the childishness of the gesture. "But please... please don't."

Some distant part of her was surprised to find that she'd almost forgotten the sound of her voice when it lost the coolness she'd tried to project to the world since Chappu's death. Most of her was too absorbed by watching him as he made his decision to care.

He stared at the card in her hand silently, long enough for her to wish he'd just _take it_ already if that was what he was going to do, then something softened in his expression and he reached out to close her fingers around it, his hand covering hers once more. "Nah, you keep it. Said you'd always be welcome, didn't I?"

"So you did." She smiled at him and clasped his hand between both of hers for a moment before pulling back and putting the card away. "I'll be back soon, Cid. I'll see you then."

She walked away before he could respond, making herself move sedately while still in his line of sight but getting faster the further she went until she was almost at a run leaving the ship for the Highbridge. She headed straight for Rikku then, grabbing the younger girl by the elbow and pulling her further down the bridge away from the others as she passed through them.

"Girl talk!" Rikku called to the others chipperly, sounding like she wasn't at all surprised that this was happening. "No boys allowed!"

"_Ooh,_ Rikku is in _trouble_," Lulu heard Wakka whisper to Kimahri just before she got too far to hear it, and she almost laughed at how familiar the almost singsong tone was from when they were younger. He'd always been so pleased when someone else ended up being the focus of her anger.

"I _love_ Chappu," she said to Rikku in a low voice once they were far enough from the others. "I have _always_ loved Chappu."

"Well _duh._ Everybody knows that, so why're you bringing it up?" Rikku asked, but Lulu could tell from the smirk she couldn't quite hold back that she already suspected.

"It hasn't even been two years yet. I can't just forget him, and move on to someone else."

Rikku suddenly stepped forward and hugged her. Any other day it would've been a complete shock to Lulu, but with all that had happened it practically seemed common place. "You know, for someone who usually seems smarter than most of the rest of us, you can be a _real_ dope," she said, not letting Lulu go. "Nobody expects you to forget about him. Anybody who did would be a _real_ jerk, and he's-- and _you_ wouldn't be interested in somebody like that to begin with, right?"

"...I suppose you're right." Lulu slowly raised her arms to hug Rikku back and took a deep breath. It was hard, _so_ hard, to say when she'd held onto the memory of Chappu for so long, never even really thinking about moving on, but finally, quietly, she admitted, "I think I may have spoken too soon when I said that there was nothing going on between your father and I."

Rikku laughed and affectionately squeezed her a little tighter. "Dope," she said again. "I could've told you that as soon as you decided you'd rather go chasing after him than help us try and plan out how to fight Sin." She laughed again as she let Lulu go. "Just don't expect me to ever call you mom, okay?


	14. Interlude Two

**Note:** I am so, _so_, sorry that this part is so incredibly late. I got insanely writer's blocked on this part, and only just finally managed to push through it enough to get to the end of the chapter. I meant to put up this interlude and the next chapter at the same time, but since I managed to finish this before bedtime I wanted to at least get it out so everyone reading didn't need to wait any longer.

• • •

Wakka worried about Lulu.

It wasn't a totally new thing, of course. She had been his brother's girl, and, even more than that, she was the first friend he'd ever made, the first girl he'd ever fallen for, and the cause of his first heartbreak when she'd only had eyes for Chappu. So of course he wanted to keep an eye on her when he could, even though he knew she wouldn't appreciate it if she found out.

But, he'd been worrying more lately. Not about her getting injured, or crippled, or killed as he always had in the past, but about her mind.

Being a guardian was a stressful job. Everyone who became one knew going in that it had claimed the sanity of others before them, people who couldn't stand the strain of living their lives for someone they knew would die in the end no matter what they did.

Wakka had _never_ thought that Lulu would become one of those guardians. Especially not if _he_ was still doing all right. Lulu had always been so much stronger than him that he couldn't have imagined her breaking, even though she'd gone on more pilgrimages than most guardians ever did. 

Then somewhere along the way she'd found that damned stick. He wasn't sure where it had come from, though he guessed Macalania Forest from the pale color and the way it seemed to shimmer slightly when the light caught it the right way, and he wasn't sure how long she'd been carrying it with her, but he'd noticed days before that she'd begun sneaking away from the group when she thought everyone else was asleep or occupied to whisper to it.

Worse, every time she said something she paused as if she was listening to the stick speak back.

He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her when he saw her doing it, say to her 'Lu, we're so close to being _done_ with all this, you can't break now' then throw the stick into trench splitting the center of the Calm Lands so no one but the fiends said to live on its bottom would ever see it again. But, if he did that he had no idea how she'd react. Maybe it would make her snap even more to have it taken from her. Maybe she'd turn against him for taking her whatever she thought it was from her. Maybe if he just left her alone she'd get better once the pilgrimage was over and she had a chance to relax.

He'd thought that that was happening already, ever since they'd left Zanarkand. He hadn't seen her touch it once since Rikku's dad had picked them up on the airship, and he'd thought that maybe now that they'd all gotten a good night's sleep for the first time in months and didn't have to walk from dawn to dusk anymore whatever had gone wrong in her mind had been fixed.

That hope had been dashed as they walked through the caves they were travelling through, and out of the corner of his eye he'd caught her fingering the end of the stick hidden in her sleeve, like she was just _itching_ to talk to it about the strange things they were seeing down there.

He picked up his pace to catch up with her, noticing how she pushed it back up into whatever concealed pocket she was keeping it in then let her hands drop to her side at the sound of his steps. "Pretty spooky, isn't it?" he asked as he caught up to her, trying to draw her attention and hoping he'd be able to keep it. "Almost feels like Omega'll jump out at us any second now, don't it?"

She looked at him like she thought he'd said something stupid, but at least that was a look he was used to seeing on her. "You realize that that's entirely likely, don't you? I'm not sure I _could_ think of anyone more likely to have become a fiend upon their death than the traitor Omega. ...Perhaps the High Summoners, considering everything else we've learned of Yevon lately." For a moment an expression of sorrow flickered across her face then was smoothed away so completely that anyone who didn't know her as well as Wakka did would have thought it was gone completely.

But she could never fool him like that. Not when he was paying attention, anyway. 

"Nah," he said, falsely jovial though he knew it wouldn't fool her anymore than she could him. "They thought they were saving the world, right? If anything's gonna make you accept dying enough to go right to the Farplane without a sending, that's gotta be it, don't 'cha think?" He slung an arm around her shoulders and was surprised by how much better that made him feel, even though he'd meant for it to comfort her. It reminded him of when he was a child and would hold onto her when they hid in the back room of the temple whenever Sin attacked the island. He always told himself that it was to keep her from being afraid, but deep down inside he'd known that he was the one who really felt better when he put on the big, strong, hero act. Still, she'd always allowed him to act like he was protecting her, just like she wasn't shrugging off his arm now.

"Perhaps you're right. We can't allow ourselves to start thinking that _everything_ we've always believed is a lie." Her voice dropped to a whisper so low that he knew he wasn't the one she was speaking to anymore. "That would be too terrible."

He heard the sadness in her voice, felt the stick digging into his side where her arm was pressed against him, and suddenly felt like maybe he was starting to understand. He felt a little stupid for not figuring it sooner, except he knew that _of course_ he never would have thought that that was it. If there was one thing that had happened on the entire pilgrimage that he would never have thought would hit her harder than him, it was everything they'd found out about Yevon. She was, or had been, faithful of course, but she'd always been down to earth about it, willing to overlook sins when she thought they were necessary, or seek help from heathens when she thought it was the best option. She bent, she was flexible, and everyone knew that rigid things were the ones that were supposed to break.

Then he remembered the unsent Ginnem in her cave, and wondered if that was what made the difference. Both his summoners were still alive; he'd never lost anyone in the name of Yevon's lies.

"Y'know, Lu, if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm there for ya," he offered, giving her shoulders a quick squeeze.

She frowned slightly, eyes thoughtful, and for a moment he thought maybe she was going to take him up on the offer. Then she pulled away, turning away from him to face Tidus. "It looks as though they're opening another of those chests. You should be ready to join in if it turns into a monster."

"Yeah... I guess I oughta." He sighed and started jogging to catch up with the rest of the group, but was suddenly stopped by a blast of rancid air so foul it almost sent him crashing to his knees. 'Lulu!' he tried to call out as he whirled around to see what had happened, but he found that his voice had been taken from him, as was his shout when he saw her crumpled on the cave floor in front of a massive tentacled plant.

Where the hell had it _come from_, he wondered as he dashed back to her. Something that big shouldn't have been able to sneak up on them, especially not in the narrow tunnels they were travelling through. 

But he didn't have time to think about that now. He got close enough to see the Lulu was still breathing, then threw his blitzball at the plant as hard as he could, unable to risk it attacking again if he took the time to give Lulu a real look-over. As it was reeling back on its tentacles he struck it again, and again, incredibly grateful that he'd kept going to the Auroch's games even though he'd quit the team. If he hadn't he wouldn't have been there to learn with them when the prize for one of the tournaments had been a technique to rapidly throw the ball without losing strength or accuracy.

The others had noticed what was happening by then, he could hear them running up behind him, but he didn't let himself stop until he'd slammed the ball into it twelve times, the most he'd ever been able to manage from that technique before he fumbled and was thrown off his rhythm. Then he darted forward, scooped Lulu up, and pulled back, leaving the others to finish taking out the fiend.

'Lu, c'mon, wake up,' he mouthed, shaking her by her shoulders. For a long moment he thought nothing was going to happen, then her eyes fluttered opened. They didn't focus on him, or _anything_, but at least she was awake.

He was startled by a jar suddenly being thrust in his face. "Here, breathe this," Rikku said, squatting down next to him. He'd been so focused on Lulu that he hadn't even noticed her approaching. "Your voice is gone, right? You fix that, I'll see about her. _Down_, Lulu!" She pushed Lulu back against Wakka from where she had been trying to get up, swaying heavily the whole time. "I think she's confused..." Rikku said, frowning as she pressed her hands against Lulu's forehead and began to concentrate.

Wakka silently let her get to her work as he uncapped the jar and began breathing in the fumes from the ointment, feeling his vocal cords relax and open up again almost immediately. "How's she look?" He asked as soon as he could, though his voice was barely more than a croak.

"It's really bad!" Rikku said, her hands fluttering helplessly in the air. "There's a whole bunch of things wrong with her, I don't even know where to start! Maybe I shouldn't even do _anything_ until she's someplace safe, 'cause if a fiend decided to come take a bite of me while I was distracted with her that'd be both of us down for the count." As she spoke she waved a hand over Lulu's face, testing to see if her eyes could pick up motion, and looked even more worried when she didn't seem aware of it at all. "Why aren't you this messed up if you were hit too?" she asked, while moving on to checking Lulu's pulse.

"Wasn't next to her," he replied. "I just got hit by the last of it, she was _right_ in front of it. I dunno where the damn thing even came from." 

"It's a good thing you weren't next to her! If this had happened to both of you, we wouldn't have noticed it happening and it would've gobbled the two of you up! I don't know what I would've told my old man..."

"Eh? What's he got to do with anything?"

"Oh, well, you know..." Rikku twittered nervously and rubbed the back of her head. "He trusts all of you to look out for me! What's he gonna think if two of you get eaten?" She turned her attention back to Lulu, whose eyes seemed clearer but were still darting from place to place without settling on anything, then hopped to her feet. "Okay, I'm taking her back to the airship!" she said decisively. "I'm totally sure she's gonna be okay in a while, but she's too messed up to take care of out here. She needs some rest!"

"Hey, wait a sec!" Wakka protested, unconsciously pulling Lulu closer to himself. "You wouldn't be able to take care of _yourself_ against the fiends in here. No way you'd be able to protect Lu on your own! If anybody's gonna take her, it oughta be me."

"No way! You might be strong, but I'm _sneaky_. I can get Lulu to the airship and get back again without the fiends ever even seeing me!" She leaned forward and poked him in the chest. "Anyway, you think it would be good for her if you had to leave her sitting around defenseless on the ground every time you had to stop and fight? Plus, they're gonna need your help here." She looked back at where the rest of the group were now fighting one of the ruin's giant turtles that had come to see what all the fuss was about. 

Wakka slowly released Lulu, unable to argue with that logic. "You're gonna make sure she's settled down okay before coming back, right?"

"Of course!" Rikku lifted Lulu to her feet and started pulling her back the way they'd come, surprisingly quick for someone loaded down with a body bigger than they were. As she dodged around the fight she called back over her shoulder, "Don't worry! My dad'll take _real_ good care of her!"

"Easy for her to say..." he muttered under his breath, then pushed himself to his feet and picked up his blitzball. As he rejoined the fight he prayed, though he no longer knew who to, that she would be safe.


	15. Chapter Thirteen

Lulu had honestly _meant_ to return to Cid like she'd promised as soon as she was back from meeting Yuna in Bevelle, though she'd had no idea what she would say, but Tidus had disrupted those plans. Something about him had changed while he and Yuna spoke with Bahamut's fayth. He returned to the airship obsessed with seeing every part of Spira he hadn't been to yet, putting off the final battle with Sin in favor of sending them creeping through the fissures carved deep into Mushroom Rock Road and over ruins in the sea so rusted that any misstep could have made the ancient metal crumble beneath them. Through it all she had watched Cid watching her, neither of them able to leave the bridge so long as Tidus kept dragging them from one end of Spira to the other and back again. 

But continuing on like that would have been preferable to how she finally did get away from the group, stumbling along blind and shaking with only Rikku's shoulder under her arm keeping her from falling to the ground at the mercy of the poison she could feel working its way through her, draining her body of all its strength. 

Still, even that state was better than the one she'd been in when she first fully awakened. Her mind had been dazed and confused from something in the gases she'd breathed in, unable to tell whether the person dragging her along was friend or foe. She'd struggled then, though she could scarcely work up the energy needed to make her doll kick itself free of the hand the person was carrying it in and try to trip them up. Even before she'd come to her senses enough to work out that an enemy wouldn't be speaking her in the same concerned tone the person was using, and from there recognized Rikku's voice, she'd been able to figure out that the scramble to get away had been a mistake. In the circumstances, staying in the hands of an enemy that wanted her alive would have been safer than having her heartbeat rise and flood her body with poison even faster from the exertion. 

It was lucky that they were already close to the airship by then, because she wasn't sure she could have made it if it had been much further. By the time they reached the ramp leading up into the ship Rikku was almost carrying her because Lulu seemed to be tripping over every little pebble that her feet landed on and couldn't find the strength to catch her balance on her own.

When she heard heavy footsteps quickly approaching them from inside, then Cid's voice, worried and breathless, saying "Fryd dra ramm rybbahat?" she found herself leaning toward the sound of him, pushing herself away from Rikku and taking a few faltering steps towards where she was sure he was. She was surprised at herself even as she did it, at how glad she was for his presence and how much she wanted to get closer to it even in her weakened state. In the past she'd always hated for anyone to see her at less than full strength, but somehow with him it didn't seem to matter at all.

And when he lifted her easily into his arms, still talking to Rikku in Al Bhed so Lulu couldn't understand more than one word in ten of what they were saying, she felt the more like herself than she had since waking. Though perhaps that was more due to finally being off her feet than anything else.

It was a few more minutes before Cid and Rikku's conversation came to an end. Rikku softly patted her on the shoulder and said, "I've gotta get back to the others and let them know you're okay now. If this old idiot doesn't treat you right, give him a kick in the shin from me!"

"What's that?" Cid growled, though Lulu knew him well enough by now to know that his tone lacked any real threat, "Ya say you wanna be on swamp duty for a month the next time I assign ya to an excavation team?"

"_Eep!_" Rikku squeaked, and Lulu could hear her bouncing backwards towards the exit. "Well, I'll just be going now before anyone wonders where I am, you two have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do, feel better soon Lulu!" she babbled out all in one breath, and then was gone back into Omega's dungeon.

Cid was quiet for several long minutes as he began carrying her through the ship. "You've just gotta hang on a couple've minutes more," he said finally, his voice low and anxious, and she was suddenly aware of just how tense his body was, and of how he was holding her a little too tightly to be entirely comfortable. He was _afraid_, she realized with wonder. Perhaps even terrified, if the fear was still holding him so long after its initial burst. She'd been aware, of course, that he'd come to care for her some during the time they'd known each other, but not that she could have such an effect on him.

She wondered how she'd feel if their positions were reversed.

She opened her mouth the try and reassure him, then, remembering that her voice was gone, reached up. Her hand brushed against his chest, his shoulder, his neck, guiding it finally to his cheek which she patted as if comforting a child. He came to a sudden halt, and she wondered if she'd somehow managed to insult him. She'd thought they'd gotten past the point where it was a tightrope act every time they were in each other's company, that they'd found a balance between Yevon and Al Bhed where they could be comfortable with one and other, but if she could still throw it off so easily without even realizing she was doing so...

Then she felt him bow his head under her fingers until his breath was stirring her hair. "I'm gonna have to have a _word_ with that girl when she gets back," he said, his voice a quiet rasp. "If she hadn't left her damned medkit back with the rest of your group, I could've taken care of you already." Then he seemed to pull himself together, muttering to himself "Druikr E kiacc E uikrdy ryja ryt dra vencd-yet gedc paddan cdulgat duu" as he started walking again.

She thought that they surely must be close to his room by then, but her blindness proved to have muddled her senses and it was several more minutes, or felt like it at any rate, before he stopped and started attempting to fumble through his pockets without dropping her. Realizing what he must be looking for, she felt inside her sleeve for her keycard and pulled it out for him.

"Thanks," he said, taking it from her then shifting her so her back was supported by the wall and he could release her shoulders just long enough to unlock the door. As his arm wrapped around her again he suddenly snapped, "Cdub cdyneh' Sina!" Lulu started even as he grumbled to her, "Damned woman thinks life is like one of those trashy novels she loves readin'. I swear, if she weren't one hell've a mechanic..." He trailed off ominously, and stayed silent the rest of his way to his room, until after she'd felt herself lowered onto his couch.

"Let's get that poison outta you," he said, and she heard his footsteps heading away from her. There was the sound of bottles clinking together across the room, and then he returned and settled down on the edge of the couch next to her. She wanted to tell him that she was still perfectly capable of sitting up on her own when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders once more, but the extra moment of thought the words getting trapped by her silence gave her made her change her mind about pulling herself away. He was worried, and she knew the comfort that doing even the smallest things to help could bring. "Right, just whack my arm if if comes out too fast for you to drink an' I'll slow it down, okay?"

She nodded, then obligingly tilted her head back as he pushed the mouth of a bottle to her lips. She recognized the flavor of one of the strange potions the Al Bhed made immediately; it brought back memories of crossing the desert just before she'd first met Cid. The ramshackle lean-tos and caches of medicine the Al Bhed had left scattered through the sands had felt like a blessing straight from the hands of Yevon. She'd wondered back then what sort of machina must have been used to make the potions, since she couldn't believe that even the wisest apothecary in Spira would be able to come up with a way to cure every poison they encountered with a single drink instead of having to carefully choose the right antidote every time like those that followed Yevon did. She'd even considered petitioning the Maesters once the pilgrimage was over to see if the potion-maker could be put on the list of permitted machina, if she could get the Al Bhed to agree. How foolish she had been.

She felt her vocal cords unclench even as her strength began to return. "Thank you, Cid," she said hoarsely.

With her side pressed against him, she couldn't help but feel it as the tension left his body. "No problem. Now you wait just a minute, and I'll get the drops for your eyes."

"Cid," she said as he walked away from her again, her voice gradually beginning to lose its roughness as she spoke, "you said Rikku left her medical supplies with the others. Were they harmed too?"

"Nah. She said Wakka just caught the edge of whatever the hell it was the fiend hit you with, and the rest were out've the way. The girl had to dig out somethin' to fix his voice, and forgot to pick up her damned bag again when she started to drag you off. Now what _I_ don't get is, if Rikku's as good at healin' as you say she is, why couldn't she use magic to patch you up?"

"I'm afraid she doesn't know the weaker spells that would have helped there. Yuna taught her more advanced magic from the start, because she believed that would be more useful than spending time on beginner's spells that would be too weak to be much help. Esuna was counted amoung those, since we always carry plenty of medicine and if needed we could go to Yuna."

"_Guess_ I can understand that reasonin'," he said grudgingly, approaching once more. "Tilt your head back, now." She did as he asked, not surprised when she felt his finger pull her bottom eyelid down. "I tell ya," he said quietly as the first drop hit her eye, "I ain't had a start like today since my wife... hmm."

She knew it might be pushing him too far, but at that opening she couldn't help but ask, "What happened to her?"

The first thing she saw as the vision slowly returned to her eye was him frowning thoughtfully down at her. Finally he moved to tend to the other eye, saying, "I'll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours."

"I already told you--" 

"_Details_, woman. Sayin' he's a Crusader who got killed by Sin ain't really sayin' much of anything at all. I ain't gonna spill my past if I don't get the favor returned."

Lulu bowed her head, blinking the drops into her eye. "That's only fair," she admitted.

"Then you've got yourself a deal." He then hopped to his feet, and held a hand out to her. "C'mon, let's get you into bed first. You've still gotta rest if you're gonna get back in top shape."

At that moment, a bed sounded like the most wonderful thing in the world. It wasn't often that they'd had the luxury of one during Yuna's pilgrimage; even on the airship they'd all been sleeping on the floor of the bridge rather than risk being a bother. It was more comfortable than sleeping outdoors, but that wasn't saying much.

Cid guided her through a door to a room she'd never entered before, his bedroom. "Well... make yourself comfortable. Want anything before you settle in?"

"No," she said as she slipped off her shoes and slid into the bed. The softness at her back after so long was almost enough to make her sigh loud enough for him to hear. "_This_ is enough to me."

But he was frowning at her, clearly disbelieving what she'd said. "That _ain't_ comfortable. In my experience, comfortable don't include havin' things sticking into the back of your head." He walked to a set of shelves set into the wall and picked a brush up from one of them, than set down at the head of the bed. "Prop yourself up some," he said, already plucking one of the hair pins from her bun.

She raised an eyebrow at him as she pushed herself up, too amused by this new side she was seeing of his personality to argue. She remembered how back in Bevelle Rikku had told her that Cid would fuss at her every time she got injured, and wondered if this was the sort of thing she had meant. "What are _you_ even doing with a brush, Cid?" she asked, a smile quirking at her lips.

"_Very_ funny," he said, slowly unworking the bun into its four separate braids. "It's Rikku's. She's always stealin' my shower in the mornings because she says--" He cut himself off with a sudden laugh, shaking his head as he picked up the end of her first braid and set at trying to unravel it. "I reckon I'm at _least_ a good enough pop not to spill what she said."

"You know that it's a cruel tease to say something like that. I wouldn't tell her that you told me what she said."

"Well, if you _won't tell_ that's a whole other story then, ain't it?" he asked, rolling his eyes. For a moment his expression was so incredibly _Rikku_ that anybody with eyes would be able to see the resemblance between the two of them, then he was leaning in until his lips were hovering just above Lulu's ear and his whispered, "But I guess it wouldn't hurt none to tell you she said 'E tuh'd fyhd du cdehg yc silr yc dra nacd uv dras.'"

She found herself swallowing at he pulled back. "That isn't an answer," she said quietly.

"It is if you can remember it long enough to figure out how to translate it." He turned his attention back to her hair, frowning as he picked at it. "When the hell's the last time you let your hair down? These things are halfway towards bein' more mat than braid, woman!"

She embarrassed herself by flushing, too weary to have the self control needed to hold back the reaction. "Most of the time during the pilgrimage we scarcely had time for _Yuna_ to take care of her hair. Mine would have taken far too long unless I'd taken the time out from when I would have been sleeping, and hair is less important than being rested enough to fight off fiends when they attack." She turned her head away from him. "You don't need to bother with it, I already said I'm comfortable enough."

"You don't know me as good as you think you do if you think let a couple've knots get the better of me. I've dealt with worse; next time you see Rikku, you ask'er about the time she came home from playin' in the desert with her hair all caked in Sandworm spit that'd dried rock hard. _Still_ don't know how she got into that mess, but if I could fix that without shavin' her bald as I am, I can take care of you." He held the end of her braid up in front of his eyes, examining it as if it were a problem that needed to be solved, than shrugged. "You might as well lie back down. When I told you to sit up I figured I'd be done in a jiffy, but this is gonna take some time."

She did so, the feeling just as wonderful as it had been earlier. She turned her head to watch Cid as he slowly picked away at her hair with the brush and said, "So, you have experience at this sort of thing with Rikku? I have a hard time picturing that."

"Someone had to take care of those sorta things after her mama died, and I wasn't gonna shirk them off on someone else. I might not be the best parent in Spira, but I've done my best to do well by those kids once Remty was gone." He was silent for a moment. "Speakin' of which, I guess I've put off tellin' you about what happened to her long enough."

"If you'd rather not, I understand. If it's painful--"

"It's all right. I reckon you've got the right to know." His eyes went distant, though he couldn't be as lost in his memories as he looked since he went on unknotting her hair with as steady a hand as ever. "Not much to the story, really. Remty, she was as much've a machina-hog as me or the kids. Drove her parents batty; they were both alchemists and wanted their little girl to take after them, but Rikku's the only one in the family who ever even made a hobby of it." 

"It's a good thing she did," Lulu said. "Her mixing skills have come in handy more than once on our journey." 

"Never said it wasn't useful. You've just gotta have the right mindset to look at a pile of fiend-leavings and see the way to make them fit together, and Remty never had it. But put her in front of a rusted pile of gears, and _then_ you'd see miracles happen. Bad ones, sometimes. A deadly one, that the last time." His voice stayed steady as he spoke, as if he were talking about an event he'd only heard of in passing instead of the death of his wife, but the more he spoke the more roughly he pulled the comb through her hair, until he was tearing at the end of her braid as if it had been the killer. Lulu decided to say nothing about this; her hair was at a point where more damage would hardly matter, and if he needed the emotional outlet for this talk she didn't mind the sacrifice. "It was one hell've a machina. A giant metal man, like one've those fiends you get on the Thunder Plains but mechanical straight through, and more detailed than most anything else we've ever dug up. We found it in that city under the Moonflow, figured it must've been used to set up the foundations for buildin' on the water so they wouldn't have to risk real people."

"But it wasn't?" 

"Never said _that_. When machina get real old, sometimes they stop functioning the way they're supposed to. Especially when they were made to do something real complicated. In the end, we never found out _what_ it was really supposed to be for. Anyway, after we found it I was plannin' on givin' it over to the kids who were just getting taught how to work machina, figurin' we'd never find a better piece for them to learn off of, but Remty came to me and said, 'Cid, E'ja paah rubehk--'" He caught himself in mid-sentence and paused, lips moving silently for just a moment. Lulu was happy to find out that even people as fluent in both languages as he was sometimes needed to stop and think when they needed to translate something. "She said, 'Cid, I've been hoping all my life that one day I'd be able to work on something as complicated as this. Let me fix it up.' And I never was good at saying no to her when she got her heart set on something."

"I think anyone who's ever cared about somebody can understand that." 

"Nice way of lookin' at it. So, for months pretty much all she did was work on that machina and sleep. Whenever she remembered to come home all she'd talk about was what she'd found out about it since the last time she'd been around. The kids were missin' her by the end, but I knew what it was like to have a project catch you right down to your bones and not let go, and was just glad to see her so happy. By the last time I saw her it was like she'd found a way to smile with her whole body, and I knew it had to be close to done, but I never thought..." The comb had dropped to his lap, forgotten, by now. Instead his hands were clenched around her braids so tightly his knuckles were whitening and his entire body was so tensed that Lulu wouldn't have been surprised if he lunged out to attack the machina he was seeing in his mind, but it was only now that the unexpected calmness in his voice finally snapped, leaving him sounding harsher than she'd ever heard him. "Every Al Bhed kid in their _nappies_ gets it drilled into their brains that you _never_ switch on a strange machina for the first time without a full team there, to take care've it if it goes wild. Everybody knows it's the dumbest damned thing you can do, because no matter _how_ good you think you are the folks who made them were _better_, and not one've us has figured out how to check whether their programming's gone wrong other than by turnin' the machina on and seeing if it goes nuts. Y'just _can't_ do it alone, it's too dangerous, and..."

"...And she did it anyway," Lulu finished for him gently, when he seemed unable to do it himself. 

His next breath seemed to shudder right through him, then the tension left his body all at once and he slumped back against the wall, muttering an apology as he untangled his hands and took up the comb once more. "Always thought she was the smart one in the family, but I guess that time she was just too proud for her own good. She never did like sharin' her victories, and when she thought she was about to have the biggest one in her life it must've just run right over her smarts. Worst thing is, anything that wasn't that good she probably would've gotten away from with her life. Most machina that attack, all they can do it shoot you or hit you, and every work room we've got has a little closet of a bunker in it that'll keep 'em from gettin' through until someone checks in on you. But that thing was so detailed... It had _hands_ just like us. Hands it could open up the door with when she tried to hide, hands it could use to grab, and tear, and _crush_." He turned his face from her, swiping at his eyes with a hand, and she wondered if he was ashamed to let her see the tears in his eyes. "She would've been glad to know that because she took it over all the kids that would've been there if I had my way were safe. That's what everybody always says, like it even would've _mattered_ when they would've had a full fightin' squad in with them, and that thing was so damned easy to take down once we got a bunch've guns and a handful of mages pointed at it and could stay out've its grip."

"I'm sorry, Cid," Lulu said. She couldn't imagine how it must have felt, losing a loved one in a way that should have been avoidable. In Besaid it was almost unheard of for anyone to die in a way other than an attack by Sin, or by fiends, or, very rarely, from less violent natural causes or accidents like illnesses or slipping off the cliffside path where the waterfalls made the rocks slick. Murder was unheard of, but even it was more likely than a death even a small amount of foresight could have prevented.

"Y'know, I married her _real_ young. Younger than Rikku is now, though Remty was a good sight older. My old man tried talkin' me out've it; told me if took a wife that much older than me she'd be henpeckin' me right from the start."

"And did she?" asked Lulu, unable to picture Cid in the role of a browbeaten husband. 

"Nah. She could be hell to a fiend, but she was the sweetest woman you could even hope to meet at home. And I knew she was the one I wanted to marry from the minute I saw her put a bullet through the eye of a wasp at eight-hundred feet; there wasn't anybody gonna change my mind on that. Then Brother came a year later, and Rikku a couple more after that, and by then everybody'd stopped their talkin'." He finally smiled faintly, his eyes seeming to focus on Lulu for the first time since he'd begun his story. "_That's_ what I hold onto, every day that goes by. I didn't let anybody talk me out've bein' with her, and because of that I got to have her for good long time. I might've been an idiot kid, but I know that when you're that sure about something you've gotta stick with it." 

Lulu supposed that that was as good a place as any to begin upholding her end of the bargain. "I understand," she said. "With Chappu, I knew when I returned home from my first pilgrimage."

"Almost forgotten you'd been on others," he said, recognizing that the subject had changed. 

"Yes, twice. The first time, I was _far_ too young to be a guardian, but there was no one else close enough to Ginnem who could fight. It had to be me. When I came home again, I made sure to take a boat from Kilika that would arrive in Besaid early in the morning, so I could sneak home without anyone seeing. I was so afraid to go back when Ginnem was dead and I was still alive, but I was a child and I had no family elsewhere so where could I have gone?" 

"Well, if you'd managed to make your way to Home we wouldn't have judged you none of failing Yevon."

"And I'm _sure_ you'd all have been just as unjudgemental about my being a guardian to begin with."

"Hey now, if you were really that little you'd have been fine with us. Might not've gotten this cozy with you back then, but we ain't gonna take things out on a kid with no place to go."

"My child-self thanks you, but it's a little late to learn that now. Not knowing of the generous hospitality of the Al Bhed then, I returned to Besaid. And when the boat docked, there was Chappu up before dawn to practice blitzing. I'd been careful to avoid anyone Ginnem and I had met the entire trip back, so he was the first person I'd been near since she died who knew I was a guardian, and one of the _last_ people I'd wanted to see then, because I was certain everyone would hate me and it would hurt so much more from a friend."

"But he didn't."

"But he didn't. He must have known what had happened as soon as he saw me; there's only one reason a guardian would return without their summoner. But he just sat beside me on the dock, silently. He didn't even ask how it had happened, though the curiosity must have been driving him mad. Somehow he knew that that was what I needed most, although I hadn't realized it myself until then." She raised a hand to rest it lightly on her chest, remembering the feeling of that morning. "In the end, he was the only one in the village who _didn't_ corner me the moment they could in the following days and press me for every detail I could give them about the pilgrimage. Even if I hadn't realized it that morning I would have known it by the end of the week: I wanted to be with Chappu for the rest of my life."

"Looks like we were both idiot kids then."

"I think we were far more foolish than you, Cid. You were wise enough to hold onto Remty right from the start, while we were always finding ways to avoid finally committing to one and other, even though it was what we both wanted. I needed to study magic harder, he needed to win a blitzball tournament. I went on another pilgrimage, he joined the Crusaders hoping to come home a hero. He was always trying to create some grand moment to propose during, and I was always trying to complete the duty I'd failed at with Ginnem to be ready to accept it." Then she folded her hands in her lap and glanced at him, internally steeling herself. "But all this isn't what you wanted to know." 

"Interestin' enough for me, if it's what you wanna talk about. You were willin' to let me out've it, it's only fair to let you have the same chance."

"I wouldn't let you tell me all that and then not keep my end of the bargain, Cid." She rolled onto her side, facing him, careful to shift her hair with her hand as she did so to keep from interrupting his work. "There really isn't much to tell other than what I've already said. When he completed his training he was set to guard the Mi'ihen Highroad, but he never made it further than Mushroom Rock. When we received word of what had happened, Wakka and I travelled there together. No one had seen him die, so we _prayed_ that he had just been affected by the toxins and would find his way back to where he'd been when his memory began to return, but a week later his body washed up on the beach near Djose." She closed her eyes, the death of hope still fresh in her mind even after so much time. "...He should never have been a Crusader to begin with."

"'Cause then he still would've been safe at home with you?"

"No, I'm not the sort of woman who would try to keep him safe at home when I'm putting myself in danger guarding my summoners. But Chappu, he was always far too gentle to be a fighter. I remember once, when we were children, he smuggled a wounded dingo into his room at the temple because he couldn't stand to see it hurt. I tried telling him that it would only turn on him when it got well, but he refused to listen and continued nursing it. _That_ is the sort of man he was, not one who should have taken up a weapon to fight Sin." 

"And let me guess, when that monster healed up it was _so_ grateful that it followed him around like a puppy all the rest of its days."

Lulu gave Cid the look she usually reserved for Tidus when he was at his most foolish. "It was a _fiend_, Cid. They have no gratitude. But Wakka and I were both keeping an eye on the situation, and destroyed it before it could do more than bite his leg. He cried for hours after that about his 'pet' being killed. I think he truly believed, as you were apparently willing to, that if he only cared for it enough it would return his affection. Do you see why I say he's no fighter?"

"You're paintin' a pretty clear picture of it."

"However, Wakka didn't agree. He was overjoyed when Chappu asked if he would begin teaching him how to defend himself. He didn't tell us then that he was preparing himself to join the Crusaders, and I think Wakka formed the idea that Chappu was working to be able to come with us when Yuna left on her pilgrimage. He even saved up his money for months to buy him a sword. He could have gotten it at almost no cost in honor of being a guardian, but he refused the discount because, he said, the gift wouldn't mean anything if he didn't have to work for it." She covered her eyes with her hand, shaking her head slightly. "Chappu didn't even take it with him when he left. He chose to fight with one of your people's guns instead. That was the root of Wakka truly beginning to hate the Al Bhed."

"Well that's damned stupid of him. He think his brother would've been any better off if he'd had a sword in his hand? Least our bullets can _hit_ Sin. You're never even gonna get close with a blade."

Lulu lowered her hand to glare at him, though the look lacked any real malice. "It wasn't the sword itself so much as the symbolism it had to him. The sword's name is Brotherhood, and to Wakka that meant that as long as Chappu carried it a part of him would always be there protecting his brother. ...Perhaps that was the real reason Chappu left it behind. I would never say this to Wakka now, but I know that his overprotectiveness rankled Chappu at times." She let herself relax once more, holding back a yawn as she did so. "At any rate, it was somewhere Wakka could place his blame. And we _did_ at the time believe that the teachings were speaking the truth when they said using forbidden machina was as good as calling out to Sin to attack you."

Cid snorted. "_That_ one. Dumbest damned belief your people have, but not a one of you ever gave the two seconds thought it'd take to realize it's full of bull." 

"Please, enlighten me on how we were supposed to do that," Lulu said drily.

"Easy; all you had'ta do is look at us." He gestured around his room, at the mechanical gadgets that surrounded them in a place that was itself one giant machina. "Every one of us grows up with machina surroundin' us, making our lives easier, but as far back as our history goes Sin's only attacked our city _once_. It was bad enough to destroy the island we lived on by then, but still just one time. Sure, our boats get attacked when we're unlucky, but that's the risk anyone takes when they go out on open water. Now tell me, how many times has _Besaid_ been attacked by your records?"

Lulu's eyes widened as she realized what he was saying. "Every year or two," she replied quietly. It was so _obvious_ if anyone had ever thought to question the teachings for a moment. If every Yevonite's mind wasn't trained from birth to recoil from even the thought of doing so unless, as in the case of Lulu herself, so much evidence toward the truth about Yevon was forced upon them that there was no possible way to hold onto their blindness. She couldn't imagine how different their lives would have been if someone who wasn't an Al Bhed had ever put together what Cid was saying and managed to get others to believe them. All of the teachings fell apart without the condemnations against machina, as they were all built around the "truth" that Sin was called down upon Spira due to their over reliance on it. And if the teachings had been discarded, perhaps they would have found a way to defeat Sin long before instead of putting all their faith in the high sending. "Why didn't any of _you_ ever try telling us that?" she asked. 

"_Tysh_, ya think we never tried? Think your people _listened?_ Hell, I ain't gonna say for a second that you aren't a smart woman or more open-minded than most of Yevonite's I've met, but do you think _you_ would've listened if I tried tellin' you that before all y'all's fall out with the temple started?" He rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "I know it ain't pleasant thinkin' that things could've gone differently, but we learned a long time ago that that info couldn't come from us. Whenever we tried, things just got worse for us for a few years. Some places'd even take it as a cue to start purgin' any of the 'evil' Al Bhed who were tryin' to turn them from 'Yevon's grace' that were living nearby. If they could _catch_ us, anyway."

She had to admit, now that her eyes were more opened to the flaws of her people, that what he was saying was most likely true. Except... "I would have listened," she said. "Perhaps not _believed_, but you're Yuna's uncle. For her sake, if _you_ had tried to tell me, I would have listened. And from there, I would like to think that I have never been so closed-minded as to refuse to recognize the truth when I hear it."

Cid didn't seem to know quite how to respond with that. "Well," he finally said, the word almost lost in a cough, then parroted her earlier statement back at her, "My past-self thanks you, but it's a little late to learn that now." He coughed again, then clapped his hands together suddenly. "_Well!_ Enough of that kind've talk. We're supposed to be gettin' you rested, not yakking on about depressing stuff. You wanna keep talkin', let's stick with something lighter." 

"As you wish," she said. Honestly, she wouldn't have expected herself to stay awake this long when she first entered his room, but now she found herself unwilling to end their conversation just yet, even for sleep. Stretching for a subject that would be considered 'light' -- not Yuna, because Cid always got worked up about her, not Yevon of course, and she couldn't imagine he'd be interested in discussing her day to day life in Besaid -- finally she settled on one thing she'd never known a man to be shy to talk about. "Your tattoo, does it have any special meaning?" 

"Meaning?" He reached up to touch his head, then barked out a laugh. "Means I was an idiot as a kid, that's what it means! Here, give it a feel."

Lulu raised her eyebrows at that, then gave a small shrug and reached out to run her fingers over tattoo on his head. "It's rough," she said, surprised, any embarrassment fading before curiosity as she continued to trace the design, feeling out where the texture of his skin changed.

"Another machina accident there," he said with a lopsided grin. "Lemme tell ya, when you're workin' on a really fiddly job you've never done before, don't try tellin' yourself you know more than the old folks who've been doing that sort've work since before your daddy dreamed of having you and ignore their advice. It'll just blow up in your face." He laughed again, "Literally, that time."

Her eyes widened slightly. "Well..." she said slowly, then took her cue for how to respond from how he was acting about it. "I can see what you mean about having been a fool."

"_Thanks_ for the sympathy," he said, his grin not fading. "It was my first big job, and I was proud as a Ronso with a three-foot horn right up 'til something in the engine went wrong and blew a fire ball right up at my head. Lucky I was lookin' the other way, so it didn't catch me in the face, but it still did its damage. It's why I've gotta keep my head shaved down; never could get hair to grow on the scar, and I'd look _damned_ stupid with a giant bald spot all over the side of my head.

Now that he'd mentioned it she could feel it was true. There were no tiny stubbles of hair growing up through the tattoo like there was in the skin around it. Then she realized that she was still stroking his head and hastily lowered her hand, saying as she did, "I can't imagine you looking another way." It was true. Though she tried imagining him with hair, first black or brown or red from familiarity then, catching herself, in Rikku's bright gold or Brother's dull straw color, but nothing her imagination came up with seemed to suit him.

"Well thanks. But, it's safe to say the folks who were around back then wouldn't have agreed with ya. It was months before they'd stop laughin' every time they saw me. It was a good lesson against bein' too proud, though." He touched the tattoo once more. "Got the flames inked on as soon as I'd scarred up to make sure I wouldn't forget it. Back then I already had my big dreams about makin' somewhere we could all call Home, not that anyone believed I could do it, an' I couldn't risk dyin' in a stupid accident without that bein' done." Then he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Plus, I just wanted to get that ugly scar covered up. Even a man's gotta have a _little_ vanity."

"Will you tell me about that?" she asked as soon as he was done speaking. 

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow. "You wanna hear about by vanity?"

"No, _Home_. It was a great thing that you did, Cid. I'd like to hear how it happened." 

"Oh, _that_. Sure, I'd be glad to tell you. And I won't hold it against you if you doze off during it, so go ahead and get yourself comfortable. It's a long story." He waited until she'd rolled onto her back and pulled the covers up around herself, gathering her hair into his lap so he could continue untangling it, before he started telling it. "I don't even remember when I first got the idea to build a city for us. Our old island was destroyed when my great-grandaddy was a boy, and we all scattered to the wind after that. By the time I was born there wasn't a one of us who thought that we'd ever find a place just for the Al Bhed again, but doin' it became the dream I kept in my mind all my life. Just about everyone said I was one hell've a fool to even think about it, but..."

As he continued speaking, telling her all about the path that eventually lead to Home being built, her eyes began growing heavier and it became harder and harder to keep her attention on him. Though she tried pushing her exhaustion back down, once it had its hooks in her it was a downhill battle until she finally fell asleep to his voice.

• • •

Ironically, it was his attempting not to disturb her sleep that woke her hours later. Talking normally wouldn't wake her once she was asleep, nor would sitting silently, but, after long years of training to be a guardian, the sound of someone attempting to be quiet was a warning that assassins might be near.

So when she heard someone begin to whisper to himself she quietly woke in an instant, just enough to identify whether the person speaking was friend or foe. She drifted off again as soon as she recognized him, but not before feeling his hand tangled in her hair, now loose all the way to her neck, and hearing him quietly whisper to himself "Ed't syga sa y tyshat pycdynt uv y robulneda du tu yhodrehk yvdan drnufehk Kalna uid frah cra vamm vun Braska. Pid, 'frah oui'na dryd cina ypuid cusadrehk...'" 

But she had forgotten that before she awoke again, and never did learn the meaning of what he'd said.


	16. Chapter Fourteen

"Where's Lu?"

Cid chose to ignore the outburst when Wakka ran into the bridge in favor of continuing to give one of his men orders on how he wanted the ship's first-aid kits restocked. This proved to be more difficult than expected when Wakka proceeded to poke his head into every nook and cranny in the room that Lulu could possibly fit herself into, calling her name all the while. 

"Will ya stop makin' such a damned racket?" he finally exclaimed the second his work was complete.

Wakka seemed to take that as a cue to stamp up to him, shoulders back and glaring at him in the eye. Cid almost laughed in his face at the idea that he'd be impressed by macho posturing from a kid almost as young as his son. "Where _is_ she? Rikku promised you'd take good care of her, so why isn't she--"

Cid cut Wakka off by pushing past him to do some work at one of the control panels near by. Not that there was actually anything that needed to be done with it (he made a mental note of which members of his crew stifled laughter, planning to reward them some time for learning the workings of the ship well enough to realize what he was doing), wanting to make it clear to Wakka that the way he was acting wasn't even worth bristling back at. "Don't get your britches in a twist," he said, flipping a switch that would start up the fans in the lower section of the ship. "She's restin' up, safe and sound." 

"That's not saying where she is!"

Cid looked over at Rikku, hoping she'd take a hint and get her friend to stop bothering him, but she was too busy talking at Brother about something to notice. "I _ain't_ gonna tell you where she is." Wakka started opening his mouth to argue, but Cid was faster, cutting him off before he could get a word out. "It took that woman a _dog's age_ to finally get to sleep, and I ain't gonna let you barge in on her yellin' like that and wake her right back up again. If you're so damned worried about her, you'll let her keep healin' up."

"He's right, Wakka," Yuna broke in on them, resting a hand on her friend's arm. "If Lulu needs rest, we can do without her long enough to let her have it." She turned her attention to Cid. It still unsettled him a little every time her eyes met his; her face so like Kalna's that just looking at her was enough to make him choke up, but with the quiet calmness that came straight from Braska a far cry from his brash baby sister. "Is there anything I could do to help? I know that Rikku didn't use any spells to help heal her before coming back to us..." 

"Nah," he said. "There ain't nothin' left wrong with her that a good rest won't cure, but I'll make sure to tell 'er you offered." Turning her offer down was a selfish impulse, Cid knew--though it was true she'd be fine soon enough, a real healer would always get a job done faster than potions or ointments--but, hell, it wouldn't do anyone any harm, and at his age he figured he had the right to be selfish now and then. It wasn't like he was after much, just a little more of that woman's time. 

Yuna bowed her head to him, accepting the answer. "Then, thank you for caring for her, Uncle."

Cid shrugged off her thanks, uncomfortable with accepting it when he was sure she thought he was just being kind for her sake, even more uncomfortable since because of it he heard her call him 'Uncle' first time. "No need for that now," he said gruffly. "Long as y'all are travellin' around in this ol' tub of mine, me and my crew'll keep an eye on you if you need it."

"That still deserves our thanks," she replied, but didn't press the point. "We won't be here for long," she said instead. "We just needed a chance to rest ourselves before we go onto the next level of the ruins."

"_If_ Tidus can stop chasing monster chests long enough for us to get up there, ya?" Wakka broke in. He and Yuna exchanged the secretive smiles of people sharing an inner joke before glancing over at Tidus with equal amounts of affection. Cid told himself that he had to ask Lulu to tell him what they were talking about when she woke up.

"Well git then!" Cid said, waving them away "Don't keep jabbering here for _my_ sake. Go grab yourself some grub; get up your strength before you go back out there."

He'd meant the words for Yuna, but it was Wakka who nodded. "Yeah, you're right," he replied, gently pushing Yuna towards the door of the bridge. "I'm sorry about shouting, man," he said with a nod to Cid, although Cid could tell by his tone that the apology was slightly grudging. "I was just real worried, you know?"

"No problem. Not like I can't see why a woman like that's worth frettin' about." 

Wakka smiled, his eyes distant and wistful. He didn't notice how Cid suddenly frowned in response to the expression, not liking that look at all. "She really is." His expression went back to normal just as quickly as it had changed, and he called out to Tidus, "Hey, bro! C'mon, me an' Yuna are going for food!" 

He darted out of the room and Cid watched him go. Even after the door closed, shutting the younger man away from his sight, the frown didn't leave his face.


	17. Interlude Three

Note: Takes place at the same time as the last chapter, which was just posted yesterday in case you missed it!

• • •

"_I_ know a secret," Rikku said, plopping down near Brother's feet and beginning to sort through her pouches of supplies, separating smoke bombs, silent grenades, poison fangs, and small vials of musk from the rest. She, like everyone else on the bridge, ignored Wakka running around shouting like a lunatic. "A _really_ good one." 

Brother grunted absently, clearly not paying attention. Rikku fingered an ice gem, only resisting the urge to throw it at his head because she knew that _maybe_ a giant fire fiend would suddenly pop up out of nowhere in just a couple of minutes, and _maybe_ they'd run through all of their strength and items trying to defeat it until all they had left was that one ice gem, and _maybe_ that one gem would mean the difference between the fiend finally falling and all of them being flame-broiled, leaving Spira tormented by Sin forever without even the Final Summoning left to give it take a break.

It wasn't really likely, but it could happen.

So instead she just went on like he was hanging on her every word. "A _really_ good one. A super fantastical secret!" She realized that her voice was getting too loud and glanced back at her dad to make sure he wasn't listening to them. Luckily he'd gotten into a fight with Wakka and wasn't paying much attention to anything else.

"Do you remember what this lever does?" Brother asked, pointing at a section of the airship controls. "I haven't had to use it yet, but if I'm ever supposed to, ahhh..." He trailed off, but Rikku knew what he was trying to avoid saying. If he ever needed to use it, they'd be crashing into a mountain with a boom that would be heard from the remains of Home to the Highroad before he manage to remember what he was supposed to be doing. Except he'd have probably put it in a way that made him seem like less of a complete doof.

Rikku frowned at the lever for a minute, going through her mental checklist of the ship's workings. "Oh! That's the one that controlled those blinky lights on the stern that we couldn't ever figure out the point of, remember?"

Brother smacked his palm with his fist. "Ah yes! I'd forgotten about those!" he said, clearly relieved. He finally turned his attention to Rikku. "Okay, what is this 'secret'?"

Rikku grinned. Now that he was curious, she knew he wouldn't let up until she'd told him what it was. "Say please," she said, uncorking a vial that had lost it's label, taking a whiff, then tossing it aside at the swampy smell of a Hypello potion.

He rolled his eyes at her. "Please."

"No no no no no!" She giggled as she finally pulled her supplies into her lap along with a bangle she'd gotten from Rin. "Say 'please, my super-smart and also totally cute little sister, tell me your secret!'"

Brother threw up his hands. "Bah! I'll just find out from someone else."

"Nobody else _knows._ Nobody who'd talk about it, anyway. That's what makes it a secret, dork." She could see Brother wavering, and pulled out her secret weapon. "It's about our old man," she whispered to him, her eyes quickly darting from her work to Cid to make sure he was still distracted.

That had him hooked, just like she'd known it would. Cid and Brother's relationship had always been on the rocky side, and the possibility of getting dirt on him would be too good to resist. "_Fine!_" he exclaimed, a grudging expression on his face. "Please, my super-smart little sister, tell me what you know."

"You forgot the cute part, but I'll forgive you. But before I tell you, you've gotta _promise_ you won't blab to anyone."

He crossed his arms over his chest, and Rikku _knew_ that if it was just a few years earlier he'd have been pouting instead of the glare he settled on instead. "Then what's the point of even _knowing_?" he asked.

"Because it's a secret! Isn't that enough?" Rikku stuck out her tongue at him. "_Anyway_, you oughta know about it too, if you can keep your big mouth shut." 

Brother didn't look happy, but finally he nodded. "I promise."

"Weeeeeell," Rikku lowered her voice, leaning toward him conspiratorially. "Dad's got a girlfriend."

Brother's eyes just about bulged out of their sockets. "He does not!" he exclaimed, then realized his mistake and quickly quieted himself. "He does not," he repeated.

"Well, okay, maybe they aren't actually dating yet 'cause they're too busy being stupid at each other, but they're getting there." She wasn't totally sure that she should be telling Brother this, but after seeing the look on Cid's face when she'd dragged Lulu up into the ship she'd gotten the feeling that, whatever it was that was going on between the two of them, it was _way_ more serious than she'd been assuming. If that was really true, Brother deserved to know what was going on with their dad.

"Father can't have a girlfriend when I still can't get one!" Brother said, but he looked worried. "...It's not Nhadala, is it?" 

"As if! They'd kill each other or something!" She leaned in closer than ever, needing to be absolutely positive that no one else could overhear her. _She'd_ be the dead one if anyone else on the bridge noticed what they were talking about, but because her brother was an idiot she couldn't just switch to the Yevonite language to keep her secrets safe from her people. "Were you watching him when I came back here earlier? What did he look like when he saw Lulu?"

"He looked like he--" Brother started, then choked on the words as he realized what Rikku was getting at. "That's... you're... _no._ She's a Yevonite! A _guardian_!"

Rikku smacked him upside the head, leaving a streak of musk smeared across the side of his skull that he didn't even seem to notice. "I'm one too, remember. You don't need to sound like you're talking about a plague!"

It was Brother's turn to glance around making sure nobody was eavesdropping, although he was so bad at subtlety that Rikku was sure anyone looking their way would be suspicious of them as soon as they saw the way he was craning his head around. "But that's _just_ as bad as what he banished Aunt Kalna for," he hissed out.

"I know! You think I never thought about that? But..." Rikku bowed her head, frowning hard enough to make her cheeks sore. "It's not like there's anywhere left now that he could banish himself from, even if he felt like being like being that fair about it."

"Rikku, don't say things like that!" Brother said firmly. "We're going to make Home again. Rin's already getting money for it."

"I know that's the plan," Rikku said, then quickly shook her head, trying to shake away the sadness that she always felt when she thought about Home and the future of the Al Bhed. They were scattered to the winds again, spreading out further every day that Tidus and the others put off defeating Sin so Cid could have time to plan out a new gathering place. Her father managing to get all of the Al Bhed together to begin with had been the closest thing to a miracle to ever happen to them; how likely was it that he'd be able to do it again once they started finding places to settle? "Anyway, it's not gonna happen for a long time even if everything goes totally perfectly; plenty of time for people just to get used to her if they actually really start dating, right?"

Brother didn't look convinced, but Rikku thought that she couldn't waste any more time talking to him about it. The longer they spent whispering together the more likely it became that someone would start paying attention. Everyone always said that it was never a good thing when Cid's kids were plotting with each other.

"Anyway, I just thought you oughta know," she chirped as she hopped to her feet. "Now, _I'm_ gonna chase down Yunie and eat with her and the others."

She pranced out of the room, acting for all the world as if they hadn't been talking about anything at all important. She stopped just once on the way out, pushing the shimmering bangle she'd been customizing into her father's hands. "_A present for Lulu!_" she said in Yevonite, not caring about who else might be listening. The only other person left in the room who could even understand them was Kimahri, and if there was one person in all of Spira who she'd trust to know when to keep silent about something it was him. "_It'll make sure nothing like that happens to her again. You can take credit for having me make it if you want, I won't mind!_"

Rikku laughed her way out the door at the way he sputtered in response.


	18. Chapter Fifteen

It was dawn on Besaid.

Chappu's hand was soft and cool in hers, the way it always had been, and when she ran her thumb across his knuckles she could feel the scar he'd had there ever since the time he'd fallen on the rocks near the beach when he was young. She would swear that he was solid and alive at her side, nothing at all like the faded and silent shade of him she'd seen on the Farplane. 

"I miss this," she said quietly as he began leading her back towards the city.

"I know you do, Lulu." He squeezed her hand, not looking at her. "I never meant to leave you so soon."

Part of her wanted to tell him that he shouldn't have joined the Crusaders if that was true, but it wouldn't have been right. Not when she'd devoted her life to being a Guardian, knowing each time she left Besaid at the start of a pilgrimage that it could be her last time seeing the island.

So instead she kept her silence as they walked along the cliffside path to the town, the way they had a million times before. She knew that she ought to be happy, that being with him like this should feel like the world was finally setting itself right again, but instead, as the town came into view around the curve in the path, she found herself weeping. She who hadn't allowed herself to cry in front of another person in years.

"Hey, none of that now!" He tried wiping away her tears with his free hand, a futile effort since they were just replaced by more a moment later, and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I'm not here to make you sad, Lu."

"What did you expect I'd be? Overjoyed to be reminded of all we've lost?" 

She immediately regretted snapping at him, but he just laughed. "_There's_ my grumpy girl," he said, then began pulling her in the direction of town again. "C'mon, Lulu. There's something I wanna show you."

She didn't want to go down to where other people might be, didn't want what time they were going to have together be interrupted by anyone else, but she couldn't deny him anything. Not now. "What _is_ it?" she asked as they walked down the main road, then stopped and frowned when she noticed a building she'd never seen before. Had they been building while she was gone, she wondered, then almost laughed at herself for how foolish the thought was. However real this all felt, she'd never been able to fool herself enough to believe they were _actually_ in Besaid.

"_This_ is what I wanted you to see." He gestured around them, at the city. "Take a look, Lulu. This is what you're making."

She looked, not understanding what she was supposed to be looking _at_. It was Besaid, just the way it had always been aside from the new building... and, now that she was paying attention, more than just that one stretching away from the town center. She didn't know why she hadn't noticed how much bigger the city was at first.

And there were flowers growing near some of the homes--tended gardens instead of just whatever wild plants happened to grow close to a building--although she'd never known _anyone_ to waste time on something so frivolous when Sin could arrive and destroy it at any time. "It looks..." she began, then trailed off in numb shock when she realized that there was _dust_ on the stairs of the temple.

"Calm?" he finished for her, sliding his arm around her waist when she nodded. He leaned his head against hers and contemplatively said, "You know, the way I see it, if I'd still been around when that guy who looks like me showed up, my bro wouldn't have been so interested in him. He wouldn't have gotten him an in with Yuna, she wouldn't have started thinking that maybe there's a way to put Sin down for good." He waved around them again, squeezing her softly. "If I'd still been alive, you wouldn't get a chance to live in this world. I got to protect you in the end after all; I think that's worth my life."

"_It's not,_" she said, her voice harsh. It was a horrible thing to say, she knew, and an unforgivable feeling, but in her heart it was the truth. A thousand more years of Spira suffering the pain of Sin, a million more summoners and their guardians dying in droves on the long road to Zanarkand, these were prices she'd gladly pay if it meant Chappu could still be with her. The only part of it she would regret was Yuna's death, and even that was something Lulu'd begun bracing herself for the day she'd announced that she was becoming an apprentice Summoner. "And I never needed to be protected." 

"Lu, don't _say_ things like that. You know you'll regret them when you cool down." Though his words were chiding his tone was warm, not sounding at all disgusted with her for saying such an awful thing. "Lulu, I got to spend my life with the most wonderful woman I've ever met. Long as I can say that, I'm not gonna have any regrets, except--" He cut himself off with a rueful shake of his head as he began leading her toward her own home. 

"It's easy for you to say that, Chappu. You weren't the one left behind." She shouldn't be fighting, she didn't _want_ to be fighting, but it still hurt her so much. She felt like a wounded animal, lashing out against the person who was trying to help it.

"Of course I was; every time you left on a pilgrimage." She opened up her mouth to protest that it wasn't at all the same, but he seemed to anticipate her response and continued before she could get a word out. "No, it was _worse_, Lu. At least you know what happened to me. You can mourn and move on. But when you went with Ginnem you were gone almost as long as I've been, and all that time I had no idea if you were alive or dead. It was _luck_ that brought you back to me, even if you think the luck was bad. If Ginnem had decided to go on and rest in the Ronso caves instead of exploring that cave, _you_ would be the one terrorizing Spira as Sin right now, and I'd never even have known what happened."

There was nothing she could say to that, save, "I didn't know it then. The true cost of the Final Summoning."

He smiled as he pushed open the door to her house. "I know you didn't. Even if you did, I'd get it if _you'd_ decided it was worth it anyway... but I wouldn't have thought The Calm was worth the price of losing you either."

She frowned as she stepped through the door. The room they were in was dark and silent, and when she looked around everything important to her was gone. "I'm not here," she said.

"Why would you be?" he asked, pyreflies slowly starting to leak from him to light up the room, making it even more clear how empty it was. 

"This _is_ my home, Chappu."

"Has been since you were old enough to leave the temple," he agreed before stepping closer, cupping her cheek in a hand that was fading away even as it touched her. "But why would you be here _now,_ when there's another man out there who isn't dumb enough to leave himself regretting never asking you to be with him?"

Lulu's eyes widened and flew up to meet his, almost blinding herself from the brilliance of the light seeping from him. "Chappu, I... I would never forget--"

"Who said anything about forgetting?" he asked, leaning forward to kiss her eyelids when they automatically closed from his closeness. Even with her eyes shut she could see his light through them. "You getting to live in peace with someone else who realizes you're the best woman in Spira? That's not just worth dyin' for, it's worth not trying to keep holding onto you now that I'm gone." As he began to pull away he whispered, "Remember that, ya? Long as you're happy, that's all that matters to me. Just thought you oughta know."

When she opened her eyes she was in Cid's bed again, and it was his hand on her cheek wiping away tears, his fingers rough and calloused in a way Chappu's had never been. "Hey there," he said, pulling away as soon as he noticed she was awake. "Nightmare?" 

"No..." she said, pushing herself into a sitting position. Usually she would be turning away now, or ducking her head so her hair would cover her face, rather than letting herself be seen with tears in her eyes, but instead she allowed herself to look up and study his expression. To see the concern obvious in his eyes. "Just a dream." Of course it was nothing else. It wasn't any surprise that she'd be dreaming about Chappu when she'd just been telling Cid about their time together the night before.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked as he stood up and crossed to one of his shelves.

"No. I'm fine, Cid. Truly." And it was the truth, for the most part, although she was left wondering if the things Chappu had said were what she really believed he would have felt, or just what she wanted to make herself believe he'd say. 

"All righty then, I won't press you none about it." He returned to her side, carrying a bangle and a bag. As he pressed the bracelet into her hand he said, "Here, Rikku made that for you. She was real worried after that fiend attack, so I guess she figured she'd do what she could to keep it from happening again." 

"The others are back?" she asked, slipping the bangle onto her wrist and feeling the invisible shield of magic it produced settling over her body. As always, Rikku had done a wonderful job.

"Were. They went back into the ruins again, but you were still asleep so they decided to let you lie." He rubbed his palms against his thighs, looking strangely nervous, then held out the bag. "Then this is something one've my crews found in Baaj Temple awhile back, same time they found Tidus there." When Lulu reached into the bag and pulled out a doll of a child in armor with a bow tied (badly) around its neck he quickly continued speaking before she could say anything. "I don't know nothin' about how to tell the strength of those things so maybe it's not as good as the one you're usin' now, but I just remembered it today and thought maybe you'd get more use out've it than it's gettin' sitting in storage."

She sat the doll on her lap, lifted her hands so it rose to its feet, and began feeling out the way her magic flowed through it. The paths her mind found in it were cramped, her power sluggish as it moved through it, but she found herself unwilling to tell him so when he seemed to want her to like it so much. "This is..." she began, then trailed off frowning at its back.

"What? Somethin' wrong?" he asked, starting to bite down on his lip before catching himself and curling his hands into fists on his lap instead.

"It's not that," she said, still frowning as she began to dig through one of the pockets sewn into her sleeves. "It's just, don't these..." she pressed her free fingers against two small indentations in the back of the doll's helmet, "...look like _these_?" She pulled her hand out of her sleeve and opened it to reveal two small purple gems she'd gathered on the pilgrimage; a crest she'd found when she'd gone to the Farplane to say goodbye to Chappu one last time before they left Guadosalam, and the sigil Rikku been given as a souvenir after she'd skittered all over the Thunder Plains trying to avoid getting anywhere close to any bolts of lightning and, in the process, ended up having to avoid far more blasts than the rest of their group had run into by just walking straight across the plain. She'd tossed the talisman to Lulu when she got it with a mumbled 'I don't _want_ a reminder of that, so go ahead and collect the set.'

"Now that's one hell've a coincidence," Cid said, blinking at the grooves and plucking the crest out of her hand to look at it. "Looks like these things are even carved so when they're in place the backs'll fit smooth with the curve of its head."

"I wonder what they're meant to do?" she asked fingering the sigil still in her hand. 

He flashed her a wide grin. "Only one way to find out!" he exclaimed, then fit the crest into it's place before she even had a chance to think of urging him to be cautious. Instead of being annoyed she found herself smiling at his obvious enthusiasm. It seemed as if he was always happiest when he was doing something that might end up blowing up in his face.

When nothing happened but the gem faintly glowing (to Cid's obvious disappointment) she slowly fit the sigil into the other groove, then jerked her hand back as the glow spread out to cover the entire doll. Then as fast as it had appeared the glow was gone, leaving the doll apparently unchanged. She tentatively reached out to touch it, then picked it up when nothing happened. "Did that do anything?" she asked. 

"Hell've a let-down if all it does is put on a little light show."

She turned it over in her hands, poking and squeezing it. She could feel that somehow it wasn't the same, like an itch at the back of her brain, but she couldn't say how. "No, there is something... _ah!_" She had found it. When she'd made it stand on its own again, she suddenly realized that the power conduits that had been so closed off just minutes before were now stretched so wide that her power practically flowed through it without her expending any effort at all. Not only that, but she could feel the doll amplifying the energy she put into it, strengthening her magic without any further drain to herself. The thrum of power was so strong that even Cid could feel it; she could tell by the look on his face. "_Thank you,_ Cid," she said, smiling warmly as she let the doll fall lifelessly to the bed again. "This is wonderful."

"Yeah, well, you're welcome." He coughed and looked away from her, clearly the sort of person who was embarrassed by being on the receiving end of gratitude. They sat in silence for a moment, before he abruptly sat up and out of nowhere said, "So! Why don't you tell me about these 'monster chests' y'all were chasing?"


End file.
